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.“Get over here.Drop to your knees, eyes on the floor.”84Commanding AcquisitionsThe look of thanks was brief as Gavin moved to comply.It was only once his gaze was focused on Simon’s boots that Gavin was able to speak.“I’m sorry.”Simon flinched.“For what exactly?”Gavin’s hands twitched at his sides.“For being a coward.It was the one thing Chris always called me on when we were together.”“Chris was more than your Dom?”“Yes.I loved him very much.”Something cold twisted in Simon’s gut.“It hurt a lot to lose him.”Nodding, Gavin sucked in a breath.“I met him when I was taking an art class.Work was crazy and I thought it might help with my stress levels.Chris was the instructor and we hit it off.He told me about the lifestyle, helped me feel my way into it.At first he didn’t think it was a good idea for us to get involved the way I wanted.But I couldn’t get him out of my mind.We started dating a month after the class ended and moved in together a month after that.”Simon knew how powerful the connection between a sub and their first Dom could be.He’d had more than one of his own form lasting attachments, even if they didn’t turn out to be romantic.A powerful bond of trust like that didn’t just go away.“Chris loved drawing and painting.I wasn’t much of a student until he forced me to sit down and work on it.He loved magpies, so when I was trying to convince him I was serious about us, I learned to drawn them.It was my way of showing him how important he was to me.”Gavin’s shoulders slumped forward.“I’d sit there with him in the hospital as he was undergoing treatment and we’d chat.When it became obvious things weren’t getting any better, he would talk to me about moving on.About me needing to find someone else.At first I tried to brush him off, but he wouldn’t let me.Bastard made me promise I would get back out and try to find someone else.”85Christine d’AboIt was easy to relate to Chris.Simon knew if he’d been in the same position, he would have pushed Gavin as much as he could, trying to look after him even though he knew he couldn’t.“The night you came to the club, that was the first time?”Looking up, Gavin’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears.“Anniversary of his death.I couldn’t handle being alone anymore and when I found out about the club, I just went.I wasn’t expecting to meet someone like you.”Simon dropped to his knees and rested his forearms on Gavin’s shoulders, putting them practically nose to nose.“I know what you’ve been going through.I lost my mom in a car accident when I was a kid.It was quick and painful and not the sort of thing you ever get over.My dad still hasn’t found someone else to take her place.But I know if he did, found someone who he could be happy with, he would take the chance.Mom would have wanted it just as much as Chris did for you.”“That doesn’t make it any easier.”“But it also means you can’t keep being miserable.You need to take a chance when you’ve been presented with something better.” Simon leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Gavin’s.“I’m not saying I’m going to be the love of your life.Hell, you may spend a month with me and decide I’m the most unlovable bastard you’ve ever met.But until you take that chance, you’ll never know.”“You’re not unlovable.That was part of the problem.” Leaning forward, Gavin brushed his lips against Simon’s.“You’re like Chris in so many ways, yet completely different.Those differences made me want to spend as much time with you as I could.The similarities made it feel…right.The night you asked me to stay scared the shit out of me.”“Why didn’t you say something? You didn’t have to go.”“I needed time to think.Once I left you, I thought that would be the end of it.But after a bit I realized I couldn’t get you out of my head.I knew I needed to see you again.86Commanding AcquisitionsI couldn’t go back to the store, not after the last time.So, I tried here.I didn’t think you’d come, but Jared told me to give it a few more days.”Simon chuckled.“Good bartender.”“The best.I want to try to give this a chance.See if we can make it work.”God, Simon wanted that more than anything.“I can’t do casual.I’m…” Shit how to put this into words.“I’m not going to push you, but I can’t be an afterthought either.I’ll give you what you need in the playroom.But outside, there are things I’ll want as well.”“You’re lonely.” Gavin kissed him again.“That was what made me come back [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.“Get over here.Drop to your knees, eyes on the floor.”84Commanding AcquisitionsThe look of thanks was brief as Gavin moved to comply.It was only once his gaze was focused on Simon’s boots that Gavin was able to speak.“I’m sorry.”Simon flinched.“For what exactly?”Gavin’s hands twitched at his sides.“For being a coward.It was the one thing Chris always called me on when we were together.”“Chris was more than your Dom?”“Yes.I loved him very much.”Something cold twisted in Simon’s gut.“It hurt a lot to lose him.”Nodding, Gavin sucked in a breath.“I met him when I was taking an art class.Work was crazy and I thought it might help with my stress levels.Chris was the instructor and we hit it off.He told me about the lifestyle, helped me feel my way into it.At first he didn’t think it was a good idea for us to get involved the way I wanted.But I couldn’t get him out of my mind.We started dating a month after the class ended and moved in together a month after that.”Simon knew how powerful the connection between a sub and their first Dom could be.He’d had more than one of his own form lasting attachments, even if they didn’t turn out to be romantic.A powerful bond of trust like that didn’t just go away.“Chris loved drawing and painting.I wasn’t much of a student until he forced me to sit down and work on it.He loved magpies, so when I was trying to convince him I was serious about us, I learned to drawn them.It was my way of showing him how important he was to me.”Gavin’s shoulders slumped forward.“I’d sit there with him in the hospital as he was undergoing treatment and we’d chat.When it became obvious things weren’t getting any better, he would talk to me about moving on.About me needing to find someone else.At first I tried to brush him off, but he wouldn’t let me.Bastard made me promise I would get back out and try to find someone else.”85Christine d’AboIt was easy to relate to Chris.Simon knew if he’d been in the same position, he would have pushed Gavin as much as he could, trying to look after him even though he knew he couldn’t.“The night you came to the club, that was the first time?”Looking up, Gavin’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears.“Anniversary of his death.I couldn’t handle being alone anymore and when I found out about the club, I just went.I wasn’t expecting to meet someone like you.”Simon dropped to his knees and rested his forearms on Gavin’s shoulders, putting them practically nose to nose.“I know what you’ve been going through.I lost my mom in a car accident when I was a kid.It was quick and painful and not the sort of thing you ever get over.My dad still hasn’t found someone else to take her place.But I know if he did, found someone who he could be happy with, he would take the chance.Mom would have wanted it just as much as Chris did for you.”“That doesn’t make it any easier.”“But it also means you can’t keep being miserable.You need to take a chance when you’ve been presented with something better.” Simon leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Gavin’s.“I’m not saying I’m going to be the love of your life.Hell, you may spend a month with me and decide I’m the most unlovable bastard you’ve ever met.But until you take that chance, you’ll never know.”“You’re not unlovable.That was part of the problem.” Leaning forward, Gavin brushed his lips against Simon’s.“You’re like Chris in so many ways, yet completely different.Those differences made me want to spend as much time with you as I could.The similarities made it feel…right.The night you asked me to stay scared the shit out of me.”“Why didn’t you say something? You didn’t have to go.”“I needed time to think.Once I left you, I thought that would be the end of it.But after a bit I realized I couldn’t get you out of my head.I knew I needed to see you again.86Commanding AcquisitionsI couldn’t go back to the store, not after the last time.So, I tried here.I didn’t think you’d come, but Jared told me to give it a few more days.”Simon chuckled.“Good bartender.”“The best.I want to try to give this a chance.See if we can make it work.”God, Simon wanted that more than anything.“I can’t do casual.I’m…” Shit how to put this into words.“I’m not going to push you, but I can’t be an afterthought either.I’ll give you what you need in the playroom.But outside, there are things I’ll want as well.”“You’re lonely.” Gavin kissed him again.“That was what made me come back [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]