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.”“Then the fault was his, not yours.You, my dear, are expecting a baby.”Josie’s head spun with the revelation.Her heart thudded at a galloping pace.“How can this be?” she asked, but it wasn’t really a question, and it hadn’t been directed at the doctor.“How can this possibly be?”Josie clamped one hand over her stomach and the other over her mouth, so she wouldn’t gasp and cry and fall apart.A gasp escaped her regardless.“Oh, my.Oh! Oh, Lord,” she whispered.“A baby.I’m going to have a baby.” She grabbed Dr.Barnes’s sleeve.“We’re going to have a baby!”“Yes,” he said with a nod.“You’re certain? There’s no mistake?”“Quite certain.”Visions of a sweet-faced infant made her arms ache to hold her baby right then and there.Thank You, Lord.“Thank You!”A dozen thoughts tumbled through her head at once.Anna’s delight.The years of disgrace and criticism from her former mother-in-law.The nursery she’d never dreamed to create, the tiny clothes and nappies.Sam.Sam.Other images faded when she focused on her husband.Sam didn’t want more children.He’d been insistent about the fact that he had plenty to handle with his daughters.She tried to recall his exact words.This family is big enough the way it is.Babies take a lot of work, and Josie has her hands full taking care of you.Anna would be happy, but Josie feared Sam, and most likely Elisabeth, wouldn’t share that joy.Her initial excitement faded into concern.She had told Sam she couldn’t have children.If he truly didn’t want any more, he had taken her at her word.She had disappointed one husband by not having babies, and now she stood to disappoint another by having one.“Don’t tell my husband,” she said to Dr.Barnes.“I mean, I want to tell him, so please don’t let on yet.Will you do that for me?”“Of course.” Grinning, he carried his bag to the door.“I’ll mention the altitude and that you probably just need a little rest.You can surprise him later.”The doctor disappeared through the doorway.Josie washed her face and hands with tepid water left over from that morning and put on a fresh shirtwaist.A knock on the open door startled her.She turned to find Sam standing inside the bedroom.“Dr.Barnes said you’re fine.”She raised her chin.“Yes.”“He thought you might need a little time to adjust to the climate.”She nodded.Sam took several steps farther into the room until he stood beside her.“I’m relieved.”She watched their reflection in the mirror as he moved to stand behind her.He wrapped his left arm across her chest to rest his hand on her right shoulder and lowered his head to settle his chin beside her ear.She watched as he turned his face into her hair, then heard him inhale.He released a warm breath against her neck.“You smell good.”“Sam?”“Yes.”Her heart beat too rapidly.She ran the words through her mind, and they made her stomach dip with nerves.It was beautiful news.A child was a blessing.He already had three.He’d married her to take care of them.He’d been confident that Josie couldn’t have any.She’d been so sure.She’d been so ignorant.“Thank you for getting the doctor,” she said.“Do you want to rest?”“Yes, I think I will.”“I’ll go to the church, so you have quiet the rest of the morning.Unless you want me to stay.”“I’ll be fine.You go on about your day.”“I want you to know I’m taking in everything that you said earlier,” he told her.“Don’t give up on me because I’m hard-headed, and don’t stop talking to me when you know I need to hear something.”Straightening, he turned her to face him and raised her chin on one knuckle.His other palm flattened against the small of her back so he could pull her closer.She readily folded into his welcome warmth and strength, where she felt safe.Josie had no reason to deny either of them the simple pleasure of this closeness.Sam’s gaze grazed her lips, his blue eyes sparking fire before he lowered his head and covered her mouth with his.She liked the way he took control of the kiss and framed her face with gentle hands.Josie craved this affection, reveled in the way he focused his attention on her during their moments alone.The yearning inside made her want to believe this meant he cared for her, but her hesitant, protective side called that presumptuous.His kiss was tender, yet asked a measure more than any in the past ever had.As he held her this way, while she felt alive and special, her feelings came into distinct focus.She loved him.She was deeply and passionately in love with Samuel Hart.And it was a feeling like none she’d ever known.Sam ended the kiss and stepped back to offer her a smile.I love you, she thought, the newfound discovery bursting inside her.He touched her cheek, as though he regretted leaving her.“Have a restful day.”He left the room and a few minutes later the front door closed.She watched him through the parted curtains on the multipaned window as he took the stairs at a brisk pace and let himself out the gate.Her hand went unconsciously to her belly.He was doing his best to make them a family and to show her affection.If not consulting with him about the house had been a problem, springing a baby and knocking him off course was a worrisome prospect.Expecting more than he was able to give had never been her plan.As soon as she could no longer see him, she picked up her Bible and headed for the mountainside.No use worrying, when she could be talking to God.Sam had finally laid it all out.His guilt.His lack of confidence in himself.Josie was a good listener.As he sat in the study at the church that afternoon, he couldn’t stop thinking about their conversations, about the way he wanted to share everything with her, and how much better he felt afterward.In those moments, he realized that he’d never placed all those concerns before God.Of course God knew what he’d been going through, but He couldn’t do anything until Sam laid down the burden and stopped carrying it himself.With the afternoon sun creating splashes of color across the floorboards, Sam knelt and poured out his heart.He admitted his feelings of guilt and uprooted all his inadequacies and helplessness from their long-buried places.“I regret that I didn’t allow Carrie a say in the move,” he said.“She went along with my dream and sacrificed everything—even her life.I don’t want her death to be for nothing, Lord.I don’t want to live my life enduring one difficult day at a time.”God didn’t speak to him in a booming voice, nor did a wind carry a dove through the open window, but Sam felt God’s presence all the same.Josie’s words came to him, words of encouragement and hope.You’ve done everything in your power to give your girls the best life you can.As he got to his feet, he realized that while his daughters sewed and studied and played of an evening, they talked about their mother in natural conversation.They remembered her alive, and those memories eased their grief.While listening to them, he’d remembered her alive, as well.He’d thought of days when the girls were small, of the good times they’d shared.And it had been weeks since he’d dreamed of Carrie’s death.The images that had been seared in his mind were fading—and being replaced.Those images were no longer the first thing he thought of in the morning.Thank You, Lord.Sam was looking forward to spending more time at home with his family…with his wife.From the beginning, he’d counted on how perfect Josie was for the girls.It had taken him this long to admit—to open his eyes and see—she was perfect for him, as well.“We got a letter from Reverend Martin,” Josie told Sam after dinner a few evenings later [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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