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. Honey, you have to talk to him. Sophia s voice lowered intounfamiliar territory, sounding almost sympathetic. What if he sfreaking out as bad as you are? I sighed and slid down the door until I sat listlessly on the floor. No one can be freaking out more than I am right now, I said quietly. Taking Chances 75Tyler I AM seriously freaking out. Linda laughed as she signaled the bartender for a couple morebeers. You ve been saying that for almost a week now, Tyler, shecommented above the music. Is it that bad? I shrugged as Pete slid a cold beer in front of me. I m of twominds, I said, taking a long swallow of Shiner Bock.We walked back to our table, maneuvering between the smallclumps of people dancing to the music from the jukebox. So one mindsays? she asked once we sat back down. He s awesome and I love spending time with him, I admittedtruthfully. Considering this is the first time I ve seen you guys apart sinceyou hooked up, I would say that s a no-brainer. She was right.Matt had spent every night with me sinceChristmas and so far, it had been incredible.I felt uncharacteristicallydomestic, but being domestic had its points. But? she prompted me out of my silence. The other brainsays? I tried not to look panicked as I answered. Who says they llmove before we even have a date? Maybe it was a joke? she offered, though the expression on herface made it clear she didn t believe it either. A joke usually has a punch line; this was a statement, I said,taking an even longer drink of my beer. What if he s serious? This time she shrugged. What if he is? Would that be so bad? I put my head on the table as I moaned. I don t know. She put a hand on my shoulder in sympathy. You know, youcan t be a slut your entire life. I looked up in shock, and she burst outlaughing in response. I m kidding! she added quickly. Tyler, if you 76 John Goodehad asked me before Christmas, I would have said you were the oneman this side of the Mississippi in most need of a good lay.I think youand Matt are a good thing. We just met, I protested, wondering when exactly I ended upsounding so whiny. And? she countered. You ve known each other since we werekids. That was true and false at the same time, and she knew it.Matt and his brothers were legendary in their day as kings of highschool football around Foster.The Wallace brothers were, as I have putit once, sex in sneakers, and most of my teenage life had been spentfantasizing about one or more of them. This is just too fast, I said to the table. Can I ask you a question and not get my head bit off? she askedafter a few seconds.I nodded. He said this before Christmas.Why areyou freaking about it now? I mean, has he even brought it up again? He hadn t said a word about it, but I knew it was on his mind aswell.It was like an elephant that sat between us on the couch as wewatched TV.A giant, uncomfortable elephant that refused to go awaybut neither one of us wanted to talk about.Linda said nothing as I sat there with my head down, wonderingwhy this was freaking me out so much.When I didn t think, which hadbeen most of this week, everything was great.We had enjoyedexploring ourselves as a couple, which was a completely new thing forme, since the longest relationship I had ever been in was a year and ahalf, and that had been with a woman.Guys had fallen into the hit-and-run category and lately not even that.When I lived in Florida, I hadcruised the web for hookups with other closeted guys and had donepretty well, if I do say so myself.And then my knee exploded and I moved back to Foster.I didn t so much hit a dry spell as I realized I had moved into adesert.The closest place that even had a gay bar was a drive away and,after Riley, I was terrified to step foot into it again.Crap, I hadn t finished explaining that to you, had I? Taking Chances 77OKAY, so for a while things were pretty cool, because I had gayfriends for the first time in my life.Riley would call me a couple ofdays a week and ask if I wanted to head up to the Bear s Den with himand Robbie.Which was an incredible gesture on Riley s part, becausehe had to know I would have never gone without them.Robbie neversaid a word to me, but I had the sense he was just barely tolerating mealways going with them.However, for Riley s sake, he was stayingquiet.That alone should have won him a Nobel peace prize in my book.They slowly immersed me in gay culture, coaxing the real me outof the closet step-by-step with equal parts of alcohol, music, andpromises of sexual encounters with guys that lasted more than onenight, which would be one more night than the ones I d had before.Itwas a hard sell, but they kept at it; Riley coaxed me with social carrots,and Robbie wielded a pretty sharp verbal stick when I balked. You do know you aren t getting any younger, right? he d say tome when I tried to find an excuse for not going. You re, like, a coupleof years away from your body realizing it s midnight and then, trustme, you re going to wish you d used what you had when you had it. I would give him a wry grin. And what exactly do I have? In return I d get a small pause and a not-small glare and sneer. Fuck you.I am not feeding that already Godzilla-sized ego youpossess.Stay here and get old [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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. Honey, you have to talk to him. Sophia s voice lowered intounfamiliar territory, sounding almost sympathetic. What if he sfreaking out as bad as you are? I sighed and slid down the door until I sat listlessly on the floor. No one can be freaking out more than I am right now, I said quietly. Taking Chances 75Tyler I AM seriously freaking out. Linda laughed as she signaled the bartender for a couple morebeers. You ve been saying that for almost a week now, Tyler, shecommented above the music. Is it that bad? I shrugged as Pete slid a cold beer in front of me. I m of twominds, I said, taking a long swallow of Shiner Bock.We walked back to our table, maneuvering between the smallclumps of people dancing to the music from the jukebox. So one mindsays? she asked once we sat back down. He s awesome and I love spending time with him, I admittedtruthfully. Considering this is the first time I ve seen you guys apart sinceyou hooked up, I would say that s a no-brainer. She was right.Matt had spent every night with me sinceChristmas and so far, it had been incredible.I felt uncharacteristicallydomestic, but being domestic had its points. But? she prompted me out of my silence. The other brainsays? I tried not to look panicked as I answered. Who says they llmove before we even have a date? Maybe it was a joke? she offered, though the expression on herface made it clear she didn t believe it either. A joke usually has a punch line; this was a statement, I said,taking an even longer drink of my beer. What if he s serious? This time she shrugged. What if he is? Would that be so bad? I put my head on the table as I moaned. I don t know. She put a hand on my shoulder in sympathy. You know, youcan t be a slut your entire life. I looked up in shock, and she burst outlaughing in response. I m kidding! she added quickly. Tyler, if you 76 John Goodehad asked me before Christmas, I would have said you were the oneman this side of the Mississippi in most need of a good lay.I think youand Matt are a good thing. We just met, I protested, wondering when exactly I ended upsounding so whiny. And? she countered. You ve known each other since we werekids. That was true and false at the same time, and she knew it.Matt and his brothers were legendary in their day as kings of highschool football around Foster.The Wallace brothers were, as I have putit once, sex in sneakers, and most of my teenage life had been spentfantasizing about one or more of them. This is just too fast, I said to the table. Can I ask you a question and not get my head bit off? she askedafter a few seconds.I nodded. He said this before Christmas.Why areyou freaking about it now? I mean, has he even brought it up again? He hadn t said a word about it, but I knew it was on his mind aswell.It was like an elephant that sat between us on the couch as wewatched TV.A giant, uncomfortable elephant that refused to go awaybut neither one of us wanted to talk about.Linda said nothing as I sat there with my head down, wonderingwhy this was freaking me out so much.When I didn t think, which hadbeen most of this week, everything was great.We had enjoyedexploring ourselves as a couple, which was a completely new thing forme, since the longest relationship I had ever been in was a year and ahalf, and that had been with a woman.Guys had fallen into the hit-and-run category and lately not even that.When I lived in Florida, I hadcruised the web for hookups with other closeted guys and had donepretty well, if I do say so myself.And then my knee exploded and I moved back to Foster.I didn t so much hit a dry spell as I realized I had moved into adesert.The closest place that even had a gay bar was a drive away and,after Riley, I was terrified to step foot into it again.Crap, I hadn t finished explaining that to you, had I? Taking Chances 77OKAY, so for a while things were pretty cool, because I had gayfriends for the first time in my life.Riley would call me a couple ofdays a week and ask if I wanted to head up to the Bear s Den with himand Robbie.Which was an incredible gesture on Riley s part, becausehe had to know I would have never gone without them.Robbie neversaid a word to me, but I had the sense he was just barely tolerating mealways going with them.However, for Riley s sake, he was stayingquiet.That alone should have won him a Nobel peace prize in my book.They slowly immersed me in gay culture, coaxing the real me outof the closet step-by-step with equal parts of alcohol, music, andpromises of sexual encounters with guys that lasted more than onenight, which would be one more night than the ones I d had before.Itwas a hard sell, but they kept at it; Riley coaxed me with social carrots,and Robbie wielded a pretty sharp verbal stick when I balked. You do know you aren t getting any younger, right? he d say tome when I tried to find an excuse for not going. You re, like, a coupleof years away from your body realizing it s midnight and then, trustme, you re going to wish you d used what you had when you had it. I would give him a wry grin. And what exactly do I have? In return I d get a small pause and a not-small glare and sneer. Fuck you.I am not feeding that already Godzilla-sized ego youpossess.Stay here and get old [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]