[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
."Sometimes I forget how sheltered your life was before moving to the hill.""How come you're not tramp stamped?" I asked."I hate needles," he whispered with a shudder."Besides, it's not my thing.""I'm glad," I whispered."Your body is beautiful.You don't need to be scarring it.""Cam could drink a beer faster than most guys I know," Kyle said, veering the conversation away from scars before laughing softly."And I don't know if you ever noticed, but she used to do this weird thing with cereals."I smiled and turned my face up so I could see him."She would scoop the cereal up with a spoon, but tip it sideways and let the milk spill out before she ate them.""Yeah," Kyle said eagerly as his eyes lit up."It used to drive me fucking crazy.""Me too," I chuckled."She always did that.Since as long as I can remember.""Such a waste of milk," he mused."I used to drink her leftover milk when I was small," I admitted, red faced."Uh." Kyle groaned."That's fucking gross, baby.""What," I shrugged."It was a waste and I was hungry.And in my defense I was like four or something.""Were you hungry a lot as a child?" he asked in a soft voice."Not really," I mumbled, arching my back to ease the throbbing."I mean, I was never full, but I wouldn't say I was starving…although I probably would've starved if Ted and Mora weren't so good to me." I frowned as I thought about it."I'm still confused as to how he kept me alive as a baby…he was always drunk, Kyle.Like every single day.It's a miracle he remembered to feed me.""Jesus," Kyle muttered as he tightened his arms around me and kissed my shoulder."You have to stop.I can't hear this.I can't.""Okay, I'm sorry," I muttered.We sat in silence until I couldn't take it anymore."I'm sorry for today, Kyle.""Lee," he sighed."Please stop apologizing.""What if I'm like him?" I whispered in mortification."What if I'm going to turn out like him? Do you think behavior like that is genetic?""You're not now, nor will you ever be anything like him," he spat."I'm still trying to figure out how that bastard's blood is running through your veins."I sat up and turned to look at him.He was so sure I was good.He was wrong."I'm not perfect, Kyle.""No, you're not," he said with a smirk."And I'm glad for that because I'm so fucking far from perfect it gives our relationship a little balance when you drop your halo and show you're human.You're so far above me, Lee, I feel like I'm hanging on to your ankles just to keep you on the ground with me.""What?" I asked in confusion."Kyle, that makes no sense.""It does to me," he said simply."We're both fucked up, Lee.It's nice to know that.It's lonely being the only screw-up."Huh.I stroked his cheek with my palm and smiled sheepishly."I guess we're both a little broken, aren't we?""That's an understatement." Kyle laughed and squeezed me tightly."At least we can be each other's glue.You fix me and I'll fix you.Deal?"I smiled."Deal."****"And by the way," Kyle whispered, several hours later as we were lying in bed facing each other."Don't ever leave me hanging like you did this morning.Trust me, my dick hurt ten times worse than my nose.""Kyle," I whispered, completely mortified."I was b…""I don't care," he said before I could finish."I don't care about that and neither should you." He yawned loudly as his eyelids fluttered closed."I'm not some adolescent asshole who doesn't understand how a woman's body works," he muttered, his voice drowsy."I wanna be inside you…no matter what's going on inside of you.""I was worried," I confessed."I'm still worried…" My voice trailed off as the sound of Kyle's heavy breathing filled my ears.I stared at his peaceful face.He looked so much younger when he was asleep."I love you," I whispered before climbing out of bed and into the shower.****Chapter 7Saturday night…Lee"Lee, come on, get dressed," Kyle grumbled as he pulled my shoes out of our wardrobe and dropped them on the bed next to me.Rachel's gun hadn’t killed me, but I had a feeling the pain I'd woken up with would.Getting out of bed this morning and taking care of Hope was hard enough.I was sore and didn't feel up to going out for dinner, but telling Kyle this would only result in a humiliating trip to the ER.I woke up again this morning with horrible back pain.I was aching all over and every time I peed I felt like diving into a bathtub full of boiling hot water to stop the burning sensation.I actually had to do that twice this afternoon.I was used to the pain in my back but the pee-burn sucked.I wasn't completely sure if I was on my period or not, but it had been five days since I called Dr.Bromwick and I was still spotting.I'd called Dr.Michaels again yesterday, but the secretary I'd spoken to informed me that he was out of the office for another two weeks and the only doctor available was Dr.Bromwich…I spent an unhealthy amount of time on my phone last night googling my symptoms and after a dozen heart-stopping, terrifying possible causes for the bleeding, I'd come to the conclusion that Dr.Bromwick was right about two things.I was on my period and I was stupid.Incredibly stupid…I'd also woken up in the middle of the night screaming my head off and every time I'd tried to close my eyes I'd been haunted with memories of Cam.Last night's nightmare had been more disturbing than others.As usual I was back in the kitchen in Thirteenth Street, holding Cam's lifeless body in my arms, except last night she'd spoken to me."I don't want to die, Lee.""Don't make me die for you.""Why are you letting her hurt me?""It's you she wants."She had chanted the same four sentences over and over until her eyes started to roll back in her head.Then she had started to cry.That had been the worst part.Her tears were blood and they'd soaked my body.When I woke the guilt had been so smothering that I'd felt like I was going to suffocate from the pain.Kyle hadn't spoken a word when he held me in his arms.He hadn't tried to shush me or tell me it would be okay.He let me cry it out and I was grateful for that.He couldn't say anything to make it better or make the nightmares stop.He couldn't do anything to change the past.But sleep hadn't come and this morning I couldn't eat."This isn't a setup, is it?" I asked as I watched Kyle button his blue shirt and tucked the tails of his shirt into his black pants."There's no set up, baby," he said grinning and for a brief moment I wished he had a vagina just so he could understand what it felt like to pee razor-blades."I just want us to have a nice family meal.Is that so hard to believe?"Quite frankly it was and I smelled a rat.His obsession with playing happy families with my mother was upsetting me.I'd been forgiven for the whole shampoo bottle incident.I was sorry.I shouldn't have done it, but my actions seemed to have kick started his fixation with repairing my relationship with my mom.He re-started the 'talk to your mother' conversation the moment I opened my eyes this morning and had continued with it on and off throughout the day.I was fairly certain I would explode if I heard the words 'that poor woman' come out of his mouth one more time."Come on, princess.Hope's all dressed up and looking adorable…let's go show her off to Theresa and the girls in the restaurant." Hit me with the daughter card why don’t you…"Fine," I muttered as I grabbed a plain black dress out of the closet.Easing my string top off, I pulled my dress on over my head.Stretching hurt my back and I winced when a stab of pain hit me.Kyle looked at me for a moment with an odd expression…a saddened expression before masking his features and walking over to me.I felt his hands skim my sides and then move around to my lower back."I love you," he whispered before placing a kiss on my shoulder [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl centka.pev.pl
."Sometimes I forget how sheltered your life was before moving to the hill.""How come you're not tramp stamped?" I asked."I hate needles," he whispered with a shudder."Besides, it's not my thing.""I'm glad," I whispered."Your body is beautiful.You don't need to be scarring it.""Cam could drink a beer faster than most guys I know," Kyle said, veering the conversation away from scars before laughing softly."And I don't know if you ever noticed, but she used to do this weird thing with cereals."I smiled and turned my face up so I could see him."She would scoop the cereal up with a spoon, but tip it sideways and let the milk spill out before she ate them.""Yeah," Kyle said eagerly as his eyes lit up."It used to drive me fucking crazy.""Me too," I chuckled."She always did that.Since as long as I can remember.""Such a waste of milk," he mused."I used to drink her leftover milk when I was small," I admitted, red faced."Uh." Kyle groaned."That's fucking gross, baby.""What," I shrugged."It was a waste and I was hungry.And in my defense I was like four or something.""Were you hungry a lot as a child?" he asked in a soft voice."Not really," I mumbled, arching my back to ease the throbbing."I mean, I was never full, but I wouldn't say I was starving…although I probably would've starved if Ted and Mora weren't so good to me." I frowned as I thought about it."I'm still confused as to how he kept me alive as a baby…he was always drunk, Kyle.Like every single day.It's a miracle he remembered to feed me.""Jesus," Kyle muttered as he tightened his arms around me and kissed my shoulder."You have to stop.I can't hear this.I can't.""Okay, I'm sorry," I muttered.We sat in silence until I couldn't take it anymore."I'm sorry for today, Kyle.""Lee," he sighed."Please stop apologizing.""What if I'm like him?" I whispered in mortification."What if I'm going to turn out like him? Do you think behavior like that is genetic?""You're not now, nor will you ever be anything like him," he spat."I'm still trying to figure out how that bastard's blood is running through your veins."I sat up and turned to look at him.He was so sure I was good.He was wrong."I'm not perfect, Kyle.""No, you're not," he said with a smirk."And I'm glad for that because I'm so fucking far from perfect it gives our relationship a little balance when you drop your halo and show you're human.You're so far above me, Lee, I feel like I'm hanging on to your ankles just to keep you on the ground with me.""What?" I asked in confusion."Kyle, that makes no sense.""It does to me," he said simply."We're both fucked up, Lee.It's nice to know that.It's lonely being the only screw-up."Huh.I stroked his cheek with my palm and smiled sheepishly."I guess we're both a little broken, aren't we?""That's an understatement." Kyle laughed and squeezed me tightly."At least we can be each other's glue.You fix me and I'll fix you.Deal?"I smiled."Deal."****"And by the way," Kyle whispered, several hours later as we were lying in bed facing each other."Don't ever leave me hanging like you did this morning.Trust me, my dick hurt ten times worse than my nose.""Kyle," I whispered, completely mortified."I was b…""I don't care," he said before I could finish."I don't care about that and neither should you." He yawned loudly as his eyelids fluttered closed."I'm not some adolescent asshole who doesn't understand how a woman's body works," he muttered, his voice drowsy."I wanna be inside you…no matter what's going on inside of you.""I was worried," I confessed."I'm still worried…" My voice trailed off as the sound of Kyle's heavy breathing filled my ears.I stared at his peaceful face.He looked so much younger when he was asleep."I love you," I whispered before climbing out of bed and into the shower.****Chapter 7Saturday night…Lee"Lee, come on, get dressed," Kyle grumbled as he pulled my shoes out of our wardrobe and dropped them on the bed next to me.Rachel's gun hadn’t killed me, but I had a feeling the pain I'd woken up with would.Getting out of bed this morning and taking care of Hope was hard enough.I was sore and didn't feel up to going out for dinner, but telling Kyle this would only result in a humiliating trip to the ER.I woke up again this morning with horrible back pain.I was aching all over and every time I peed I felt like diving into a bathtub full of boiling hot water to stop the burning sensation.I actually had to do that twice this afternoon.I was used to the pain in my back but the pee-burn sucked.I wasn't completely sure if I was on my period or not, but it had been five days since I called Dr.Bromwick and I was still spotting.I'd called Dr.Michaels again yesterday, but the secretary I'd spoken to informed me that he was out of the office for another two weeks and the only doctor available was Dr.Bromwich…I spent an unhealthy amount of time on my phone last night googling my symptoms and after a dozen heart-stopping, terrifying possible causes for the bleeding, I'd come to the conclusion that Dr.Bromwick was right about two things.I was on my period and I was stupid.Incredibly stupid…I'd also woken up in the middle of the night screaming my head off and every time I'd tried to close my eyes I'd been haunted with memories of Cam.Last night's nightmare had been more disturbing than others.As usual I was back in the kitchen in Thirteenth Street, holding Cam's lifeless body in my arms, except last night she'd spoken to me."I don't want to die, Lee.""Don't make me die for you.""Why are you letting her hurt me?""It's you she wants."She had chanted the same four sentences over and over until her eyes started to roll back in her head.Then she had started to cry.That had been the worst part.Her tears were blood and they'd soaked my body.When I woke the guilt had been so smothering that I'd felt like I was going to suffocate from the pain.Kyle hadn't spoken a word when he held me in his arms.He hadn't tried to shush me or tell me it would be okay.He let me cry it out and I was grateful for that.He couldn't say anything to make it better or make the nightmares stop.He couldn't do anything to change the past.But sleep hadn't come and this morning I couldn't eat."This isn't a setup, is it?" I asked as I watched Kyle button his blue shirt and tucked the tails of his shirt into his black pants."There's no set up, baby," he said grinning and for a brief moment I wished he had a vagina just so he could understand what it felt like to pee razor-blades."I just want us to have a nice family meal.Is that so hard to believe?"Quite frankly it was and I smelled a rat.His obsession with playing happy families with my mother was upsetting me.I'd been forgiven for the whole shampoo bottle incident.I was sorry.I shouldn't have done it, but my actions seemed to have kick started his fixation with repairing my relationship with my mom.He re-started the 'talk to your mother' conversation the moment I opened my eyes this morning and had continued with it on and off throughout the day.I was fairly certain I would explode if I heard the words 'that poor woman' come out of his mouth one more time."Come on, princess.Hope's all dressed up and looking adorable…let's go show her off to Theresa and the girls in the restaurant." Hit me with the daughter card why don’t you…"Fine," I muttered as I grabbed a plain black dress out of the closet.Easing my string top off, I pulled my dress on over my head.Stretching hurt my back and I winced when a stab of pain hit me.Kyle looked at me for a moment with an odd expression…a saddened expression before masking his features and walking over to me.I felt his hands skim my sides and then move around to my lower back."I love you," he whispered before placing a kiss on my shoulder [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]