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.In the initial stages of our research with this gesture, we foundthat asking questions about the interviewee s feelings was often unsuccessful inunlocking his ankles and thus his mind.We soon discovered, however, that if theinterviewer walked around to the interviewee s side of the desk and sat beside him,removing the desk barrier, the interviewee s ankles would often unlock and theconversation took on an open, more personal atmosphere. We were recently advising a company onthe effective use of the telephone to contactcustomers when we met a young man who hadthe unenviable job of calling customers whohad not paid their accounts.We watched himmake a number of calls and, although hesounded relaxed, we noticed that his ankleswere locked together beneath his chair.I asked, How do you enjoy this job? He replied, Fine!It s a lot of fun. This verbal statement washowever, inconsistent with his non-verbalsignals, although he did sound quite convincing. Are you sure? I asked.He paused for amoment, unlocked his ankles, turned towardsme with open palms and said, Well, actually, itdrives me crazy! He then told me that he hadreceived several calls from customers who hadbeen rude to him and he had been holding backhis feelings so as not to transmit them to theother customers.Interestingly, we have noticedthat sales people who do not enjoy using thetelephone sit in the locked ankles position.Leaders in the field of negotiating tech-niques, Nierenberg and Calero, found thatwhenever one party locked his ankles during a negotiation it often meant that he washolding back a valuable concession.They found that, by using questioning techniques,they could often encourage him to unlock his ankles and reveal the concession.There are always people who claim that they habitually sit in the ankle lock position,or for that matter, any of the negative arm and leg clusters, because they feel comfort-able.If you are one of these people, remember that any arm or leg position will feelcomfortable when you have a defensive, negative or reserved attitude.Considering thata negative gesture can increase or prolong a negative attitude, and that other peopleinterpret you as being defensive or negative, you would be well advised to practiseusing positive and open gestures to improve your self-confidence and relationshipswith others.Women who were teenagers during the mini-skirt era crossed their legs and anklesfor obvious, necessary reasons.Through habit, many of these women still sit in thisposition, which may make others misinterpret them; people may react toward thesewomen with caution.It is important to take female fashion trends into consideration,particularly how these may affect the woman s leg positions, before jumping toconclusions.The Foot LockThis gesture is almost exclusively used by women.The top of one foot locks aroundthe other leg to reinforce a defensive attitude and, when this gesture appears, you can besure that the woman has become a mental recluse or has retreated like a tortoise into hershell. A warm, friendly, low-key approach is needed if you eventually hope to open thisclam.This position is common to shy or timid women.I recall an interview in which a new salesman was trying to sell insurance to ayoung married couple.The sale was unsuccessful and the new salesman could notunderstand why he had lost it, because he had followed the sales track perfectly.Ipointed out that he had failed to notice that the woman was sitting with a tight foot lockposition throughout the interview.Had the salesman understood the significance of thisgesture, he could have involved her in the sales presentation, and might have achieved abetter result. EightOther Popular Gestures and ActionsStraddling a ChairCenturies ago, men used shields to protect themselves from the spears and clubs ofthe enemy, and today, civilised man uses whatever he has at his disposal to symbolisethis same protective behaviour when he is under physical or verbal attack.This includesstanding behind a gate, doorway, fence, desk, the open door of his motor vehicle andstraddling a chair (Figure 91).The back of the chair provides a shield to protect hisbody and can transform him into an aggressive, dominant warrior.Most chair straddlersare dominant individuals who will try to take control of other people or groups whenthey become bored with the conversation, and the back of the chair serves as goodprotection from any attack by other members of the group [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.In the initial stages of our research with this gesture, we foundthat asking questions about the interviewee s feelings was often unsuccessful inunlocking his ankles and thus his mind.We soon discovered, however, that if theinterviewer walked around to the interviewee s side of the desk and sat beside him,removing the desk barrier, the interviewee s ankles would often unlock and theconversation took on an open, more personal atmosphere. We were recently advising a company onthe effective use of the telephone to contactcustomers when we met a young man who hadthe unenviable job of calling customers whohad not paid their accounts.We watched himmake a number of calls and, although hesounded relaxed, we noticed that his ankleswere locked together beneath his chair.I asked, How do you enjoy this job? He replied, Fine!It s a lot of fun. This verbal statement washowever, inconsistent with his non-verbalsignals, although he did sound quite convincing. Are you sure? I asked.He paused for amoment, unlocked his ankles, turned towardsme with open palms and said, Well, actually, itdrives me crazy! He then told me that he hadreceived several calls from customers who hadbeen rude to him and he had been holding backhis feelings so as not to transmit them to theother customers.Interestingly, we have noticedthat sales people who do not enjoy using thetelephone sit in the locked ankles position.Leaders in the field of negotiating tech-niques, Nierenberg and Calero, found thatwhenever one party locked his ankles during a negotiation it often meant that he washolding back a valuable concession.They found that, by using questioning techniques,they could often encourage him to unlock his ankles and reveal the concession.There are always people who claim that they habitually sit in the ankle lock position,or for that matter, any of the negative arm and leg clusters, because they feel comfort-able.If you are one of these people, remember that any arm or leg position will feelcomfortable when you have a defensive, negative or reserved attitude.Considering thata negative gesture can increase or prolong a negative attitude, and that other peopleinterpret you as being defensive or negative, you would be well advised to practiseusing positive and open gestures to improve your self-confidence and relationshipswith others.Women who were teenagers during the mini-skirt era crossed their legs and anklesfor obvious, necessary reasons.Through habit, many of these women still sit in thisposition, which may make others misinterpret them; people may react toward thesewomen with caution.It is important to take female fashion trends into consideration,particularly how these may affect the woman s leg positions, before jumping toconclusions.The Foot LockThis gesture is almost exclusively used by women.The top of one foot locks aroundthe other leg to reinforce a defensive attitude and, when this gesture appears, you can besure that the woman has become a mental recluse or has retreated like a tortoise into hershell. A warm, friendly, low-key approach is needed if you eventually hope to open thisclam.This position is common to shy or timid women.I recall an interview in which a new salesman was trying to sell insurance to ayoung married couple.The sale was unsuccessful and the new salesman could notunderstand why he had lost it, because he had followed the sales track perfectly.Ipointed out that he had failed to notice that the woman was sitting with a tight foot lockposition throughout the interview.Had the salesman understood the significance of thisgesture, he could have involved her in the sales presentation, and might have achieved abetter result. EightOther Popular Gestures and ActionsStraddling a ChairCenturies ago, men used shields to protect themselves from the spears and clubs ofthe enemy, and today, civilised man uses whatever he has at his disposal to symbolisethis same protective behaviour when he is under physical or verbal attack.This includesstanding behind a gate, doorway, fence, desk, the open door of his motor vehicle andstraddling a chair (Figure 91).The back of the chair provides a shield to protect hisbody and can transform him into an aggressive, dominant warrior.Most chair straddlersare dominant individuals who will try to take control of other people or groups whenthey become bored with the conversation, and the back of the chair serves as goodprotection from any attack by other members of the group [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]