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.Anexample of bow he encourages a couple to do what they have been doing but insuch a way that change can take place is the way he dealt with a drinking problemof a married couple.He reports:A husband and wife came to see me, and the wife was a pretty bad alcoholic.Shewas a secret drinker.Every day when her husband came home from the office she wouldbe drunk, and they would have a nightly battle as he raged around the house looking forthe bottle.She was mad because he hunted for it.It became a game of skill to find thebottle as well as a nightly fight.I found out that his idea of a good weekend was to lean back in an easy chair and readBusiness Week or the Wall Street Journal or a book.Her idea of weekend enjoymentwas to go out in the yard, work with the flowers, and when nobody was looking slip up to her mouth that bottle of whiskey hidden in the ground.She really enjoyed gardening; shealso enjoyed the whiskey.With the two of them in the office, I pointed out that every evening he laboriously triedto find the hidden bottle and she took a gleeful pleasure in hiding it.I told them to continuewith exactly that procedure.He was to hunt for the bottle and she should hide it.But if hecouldn't find it, she was entitled to empty it the next day.I let them play that little game for a while.It isn't a good game, but he didn't like thathunting and she got too much joy out of it.However, the procedure robbed her of theprivilege of hiding the bottle secretly.It became a purposeful hiding, not that guilty,shameful, sneaky hiding.It took some of the joy out of it.They had the most astonishedfacial expressions when I suggested that she hide the bottle and that as a reward it washis if he found it and hers if he didn't.But they had been doing that for twelve yearsanyway.The next step was to have him boy a trailer and take her up to Canyon Lake and gofishing - without whiskey.I picked out boating as a recreation because I had found thatshe was raised in a lake region and she hated lakes and fishing.He hated fishing too.I pointed out to them that being out on the water alone in a small boat without whiskeywould keep her sober, which would be good for her health.It would be good for herhusband to be out in the open getting some fresh air instead of sticking his nose in anewspaper in sluggishness and inertia.Predictably, they began to use the trailer, but not to go fishing in a boat.They wentcamping on weekends, which they both enjoyed.She sobered up and stayed sober, andthey began to enjoy themselves.They camped each weekend in all the available areas andgave up their battle.This case illustrates an additional technique that is typical of Erickson.Themarried couple in this ease was asked to get a trailer and go fishing on a lake.Erickson wanted them to change their pattern of weekend behavior; instead of theirstaying at home avoiding each other and drinking, be wanted them out in a newweekend activity.However, be chose fishing on a lake - which neither one liked.They chose another alternative within the framework he had established andbegan to go camping on weekends, which they both enjoyed.In this way thecouple made a "spontaneous" choice about how to spend their weekendsdifferently.Besides encouraging people to behave as they usually behave, Erickson will alsoanticipate some change in them by having them prepare for that change.Thechange is more likely to take place if the people are doing those things that wouldonly be done if the change had taken place.Another way of dealing with a drinking problem illustrates this approach.Since heassumes that a severe problem such as drinking involves more than one person,Erickson usually works with the family in such cases.He has found, as haveothers, that the spouse of an alcoholic can react negatively when the alcoholicquits drinking, often forcing the drinking to continue.Erickson will anticipate thisreaction as a way of changing it.He says:When an alcoholic quits drinking, his wife no longer has a chance to nag him.Often shefeels lost and without purpose in life, One way I sometimes deal with this is to see the alcoholic husband and wife together.I ask him to define the problem situation for me.He'llsay something like, "I don't think I'd be an alcoholic if my wife didn't nag me all the time." Mycomment to the wife is, "I doubt if you really nag him; I expect you express your legitimateregret that he drinks excessively.And that has used a lot nf our energy in the past.As heimproves, what are you going to use that energy for?"I persuade her to wonder about that.But by putting it that way, I give the husband anopportunity to watch her to see that she uses her energy in those other areas.And hehas to stop drinking so that she can have that energy to use in other areas.You alwaystie the two in together, but you never tell them that.When you commit her to use her timeand energy elsewhere, you're committing him to give her the opportunity.I'll point out, "Each morning you wake up with a certain allotment of energy.During theday you use it up, and by bedtime you're tired.You want to go to bed and replenish yoursupply of energy.When he stops drinking, how are you going to spend that energy duringthe day?"Sometimes I take the same approach with the whole family, since there is always areaction in the family when an alcoholic improves.I might ask the daughter as well as thewife, "When your lather ceases to be an alcoholic, just how are you going to spend thattime you spent in the past wishing be wouldn't drink, or avoiding him, or hammering awayat him to mend his ways?" I've had school children say, "Well, I can put it in on naygeometry." I've had a wife say, "Now I'll have a chance to do sonic committee work atchurch."Not only do many young people today get involved in a variety of drug trips, but theirparents become hooked on their own types of drugs.One of the most common istranquilizers.Unlike many psychiatrists who see medication as a way of quietingand stabilizing people, Erickson views it as an inappropriate way of life.Sometimes he is given the task of unhooking someone from some sort of drug.He comments:I don't prescribe tranquilizers for people.Often my problem is to get someone offtranquilizers.When someone asks me for a prescription for tranquilizers, if I merely refusethey will go to some other physician and obtain them.Therefore I don't refuse them, butsomehow I don't provide them.For example, a woman came to me and asked me rather desperately if I would give hera prescription to continue the tranquilizer, she had been taking.I said, "Yes, certainly," andbegan to search my desk."I have my prescription book right here," I said, and searchedthe top drawer and couldn't find it, searched the second drawer, explored the top of bedesk.I stir myself actively in such cases, but I can't locate the prescription book, andmeanwhile we have begun to talk.Somehow or other, at the end of the interview, shegets out and we've both forgotten about the prescription for a tranquilizer.If she's beenaccumulating any, she has to delve into her stored-up supply, because I continueforgetting in the next interviews.When I forget, end she forgets, then her failure to remind me causes her to thinkbetween sessions, "I must remind him," instead of going to some other physician.Butobviously it is innocently forgotten on my part, and unintentionally forgotten by her.Thatway I keep her requests centered on me.Sometimes when someone is hooked on tranquilizers and I have to provide some, Ioffer the samples the drug companies send me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Anexample of bow he encourages a couple to do what they have been doing but insuch a way that change can take place is the way he dealt with a drinking problemof a married couple.He reports:A husband and wife came to see me, and the wife was a pretty bad alcoholic.Shewas a secret drinker.Every day when her husband came home from the office she wouldbe drunk, and they would have a nightly battle as he raged around the house looking forthe bottle.She was mad because he hunted for it.It became a game of skill to find thebottle as well as a nightly fight.I found out that his idea of a good weekend was to lean back in an easy chair and readBusiness Week or the Wall Street Journal or a book.Her idea of weekend enjoymentwas to go out in the yard, work with the flowers, and when nobody was looking slip up to her mouth that bottle of whiskey hidden in the ground.She really enjoyed gardening; shealso enjoyed the whiskey.With the two of them in the office, I pointed out that every evening he laboriously triedto find the hidden bottle and she took a gleeful pleasure in hiding it.I told them to continuewith exactly that procedure.He was to hunt for the bottle and she should hide it.But if hecouldn't find it, she was entitled to empty it the next day.I let them play that little game for a while.It isn't a good game, but he didn't like thathunting and she got too much joy out of it.However, the procedure robbed her of theprivilege of hiding the bottle secretly.It became a purposeful hiding, not that guilty,shameful, sneaky hiding.It took some of the joy out of it.They had the most astonishedfacial expressions when I suggested that she hide the bottle and that as a reward it washis if he found it and hers if he didn't.But they had been doing that for twelve yearsanyway.The next step was to have him boy a trailer and take her up to Canyon Lake and gofishing - without whiskey.I picked out boating as a recreation because I had found thatshe was raised in a lake region and she hated lakes and fishing.He hated fishing too.I pointed out to them that being out on the water alone in a small boat without whiskeywould keep her sober, which would be good for her health.It would be good for herhusband to be out in the open getting some fresh air instead of sticking his nose in anewspaper in sluggishness and inertia.Predictably, they began to use the trailer, but not to go fishing in a boat.They wentcamping on weekends, which they both enjoyed.She sobered up and stayed sober, andthey began to enjoy themselves.They camped each weekend in all the available areas andgave up their battle.This case illustrates an additional technique that is typical of Erickson.Themarried couple in this ease was asked to get a trailer and go fishing on a lake.Erickson wanted them to change their pattern of weekend behavior; instead of theirstaying at home avoiding each other and drinking, be wanted them out in a newweekend activity.However, be chose fishing on a lake - which neither one liked.They chose another alternative within the framework he had established andbegan to go camping on weekends, which they both enjoyed.In this way thecouple made a "spontaneous" choice about how to spend their weekendsdifferently.Besides encouraging people to behave as they usually behave, Erickson will alsoanticipate some change in them by having them prepare for that change.Thechange is more likely to take place if the people are doing those things that wouldonly be done if the change had taken place.Another way of dealing with a drinking problem illustrates this approach.Since heassumes that a severe problem such as drinking involves more than one person,Erickson usually works with the family in such cases.He has found, as haveothers, that the spouse of an alcoholic can react negatively when the alcoholicquits drinking, often forcing the drinking to continue.Erickson will anticipate thisreaction as a way of changing it.He says:When an alcoholic quits drinking, his wife no longer has a chance to nag him.Often shefeels lost and without purpose in life, One way I sometimes deal with this is to see the alcoholic husband and wife together.I ask him to define the problem situation for me.He'llsay something like, "I don't think I'd be an alcoholic if my wife didn't nag me all the time." Mycomment to the wife is, "I doubt if you really nag him; I expect you express your legitimateregret that he drinks excessively.And that has used a lot nf our energy in the past.As heimproves, what are you going to use that energy for?"I persuade her to wonder about that.But by putting it that way, I give the husband anopportunity to watch her to see that she uses her energy in those other areas.And hehas to stop drinking so that she can have that energy to use in other areas.You alwaystie the two in together, but you never tell them that.When you commit her to use her timeand energy elsewhere, you're committing him to give her the opportunity.I'll point out, "Each morning you wake up with a certain allotment of energy.During theday you use it up, and by bedtime you're tired.You want to go to bed and replenish yoursupply of energy.When he stops drinking, how are you going to spend that energy duringthe day?"Sometimes I take the same approach with the whole family, since there is always areaction in the family when an alcoholic improves.I might ask the daughter as well as thewife, "When your lather ceases to be an alcoholic, just how are you going to spend thattime you spent in the past wishing be wouldn't drink, or avoiding him, or hammering awayat him to mend his ways?" I've had school children say, "Well, I can put it in on naygeometry." I've had a wife say, "Now I'll have a chance to do sonic committee work atchurch."Not only do many young people today get involved in a variety of drug trips, but theirparents become hooked on their own types of drugs.One of the most common istranquilizers.Unlike many psychiatrists who see medication as a way of quietingand stabilizing people, Erickson views it as an inappropriate way of life.Sometimes he is given the task of unhooking someone from some sort of drug.He comments:I don't prescribe tranquilizers for people.Often my problem is to get someone offtranquilizers.When someone asks me for a prescription for tranquilizers, if I merely refusethey will go to some other physician and obtain them.Therefore I don't refuse them, butsomehow I don't provide them.For example, a woman came to me and asked me rather desperately if I would give hera prescription to continue the tranquilizer, she had been taking.I said, "Yes, certainly," andbegan to search my desk."I have my prescription book right here," I said, and searchedthe top drawer and couldn't find it, searched the second drawer, explored the top of bedesk.I stir myself actively in such cases, but I can't locate the prescription book, andmeanwhile we have begun to talk.Somehow or other, at the end of the interview, shegets out and we've both forgotten about the prescription for a tranquilizer.If she's beenaccumulating any, she has to delve into her stored-up supply, because I continueforgetting in the next interviews.When I forget, end she forgets, then her failure to remind me causes her to thinkbetween sessions, "I must remind him," instead of going to some other physician.Butobviously it is innocently forgotten on my part, and unintentionally forgotten by her.Thatway I keep her requests centered on me.Sometimes when someone is hooked on tranquilizers and I have to provide some, Ioffer the samples the drug companies send me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]