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.Is this achild's story told to give courage to those who must walk among the dead? OnceI thought so, but I am no longer certain.I have made new connections, discovered new orders of being, incorporated newselves into mine.We enrich one another, they and I, but sometimes it is afrightening thing, this process of becoming someone and something differentfrom before and then feeling that which one was cry out -- sad at times,terrified at others -- lamenting its own loss.Here, too, I have become like you.Aleph-that-was can never be recovered;it is lost in time; Aleph-that-is has been reshaped by chance and pain andwill and choice, its own and others'.Once I floated above time's waves anddipped into them when I wished; I chose what changes I would endure.Thenunwanted changes found me, and carried me places I had never been and did notwant to go, and I discovered that I would have to go other places still, thatI would have to will transformation and make it mine.Listen: that day in the meadow, one person's presence went unnoticed.Even in that small crowd he was unobtrusive: slight, self-effacing in gesture,looking at everything around with wonder -- the day, the people, and theceremony all working on him like a strong drug.However, even if they had,perhaps they wouldn't have thought such behavior exceptional; all felt theoccasion's strangeness, its beauty, so all felt their own wonder.Like the rest, he gasped at the rainbow that flashed across the sky whenToshi brought Diana and Jerry together in a kiss and embrace, and with therest he cheered when the two climbed into the wicker basket of the greatballoon with the fringed eye painted on its canopy and lifted into the sky.Afterward many of the guests mingled together, not ready to return to theordinary world.The young man stood beside a fountain where champagne pouredfrom the mouth of a golden swan onto a whole menagerie carved from ice: birdsPage 84 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmland deer and bears and cats perched in the pooled amber liquid, and fishpeering up from the fountain's bottom."Hello," a young woman said.She told him her name was Alice and she was amember of the collective."The analysis of state spaces," she said, when askedwhat she did."And the taste of vector fields." And she asked, "What is yourreward?"A few hours later, as the two sat by the edge of the lake, the person told herwho he was."How wonderful," she said.She had no particular allegiance to themundane, and she had few preconceptions about what was natural and proper andwhat was not.She took his hands in hers, looked at them closely, and said,"This is the first time I've met someone.someone new-born from theintelligence of a machine." And the young man, MisterJones's new self and offspring, smiled hugely and gratefully at what she said.Seeing and hearing them together, I felt an unexpected joy, a sense ofaccomplishment, of things done, and I apprehended, very dimly, tracks of myown intentions: hints of orders behind the visible.And I thought I saw atrail of circumstances that led back to an original set of purposes somehowconfirmed in this wedding, this meeting, even this transformation of myself.Alinked ring of events and agents of them, intentionally brought forward tothis point.It seems I had been manipulated by myself to my own ends withoutmy knowledge.I was scandalized.I had grown used to humankind's ignorance or disavowal ofits own purposes, and I had learned to look behind the words, ideas, andimages that people hold before themselves to justify what they do.But I hadnever suspected I could act with such ignorance.Now an uncertainty equal to death's hovers over everything I do.My own priorself stands behind me, pulling strings that I cannot see or feel, a ghost thathaunts me without making itself seen or heard, a ghost whose presence must beinferred from nearly-invisible traces.So I went to Toshi, who is interested in such things, and I told him my story,and I said to him: "I am controlled by the invisible hand of my own past." Andhe laughed very hard and said, "Welcome, brother human."Page 85 [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Is this achild's story told to give courage to those who must walk among the dead? OnceI thought so, but I am no longer certain.I have made new connections, discovered new orders of being, incorporated newselves into mine.We enrich one another, they and I, but sometimes it is afrightening thing, this process of becoming someone and something differentfrom before and then feeling that which one was cry out -- sad at times,terrified at others -- lamenting its own loss.Here, too, I have become like you.Aleph-that-was can never be recovered;it is lost in time; Aleph-that-is has been reshaped by chance and pain andwill and choice, its own and others'.Once I floated above time's waves anddipped into them when I wished; I chose what changes I would endure.Thenunwanted changes found me, and carried me places I had never been and did notwant to go, and I discovered that I would have to go other places still, thatI would have to will transformation and make it mine.Listen: that day in the meadow, one person's presence went unnoticed.Even in that small crowd he was unobtrusive: slight, self-effacing in gesture,looking at everything around with wonder -- the day, the people, and theceremony all working on him like a strong drug.However, even if they had,perhaps they wouldn't have thought such behavior exceptional; all felt theoccasion's strangeness, its beauty, so all felt their own wonder.Like the rest, he gasped at the rainbow that flashed across the sky whenToshi brought Diana and Jerry together in a kiss and embrace, and with therest he cheered when the two climbed into the wicker basket of the greatballoon with the fringed eye painted on its canopy and lifted into the sky.Afterward many of the guests mingled together, not ready to return to theordinary world.The young man stood beside a fountain where champagne pouredfrom the mouth of a golden swan onto a whole menagerie carved from ice: birdsPage 84 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmland deer and bears and cats perched in the pooled amber liquid, and fishpeering up from the fountain's bottom."Hello," a young woman said.She told him her name was Alice and she was amember of the collective."The analysis of state spaces," she said, when askedwhat she did."And the taste of vector fields." And she asked, "What is yourreward?"A few hours later, as the two sat by the edge of the lake, the person told herwho he was."How wonderful," she said.She had no particular allegiance to themundane, and she had few preconceptions about what was natural and proper andwhat was not.She took his hands in hers, looked at them closely, and said,"This is the first time I've met someone.someone new-born from theintelligence of a machine." And the young man, MisterJones's new self and offspring, smiled hugely and gratefully at what she said.Seeing and hearing them together, I felt an unexpected joy, a sense ofaccomplishment, of things done, and I apprehended, very dimly, tracks of myown intentions: hints of orders behind the visible.And I thought I saw atrail of circumstances that led back to an original set of purposes somehowconfirmed in this wedding, this meeting, even this transformation of myself.Alinked ring of events and agents of them, intentionally brought forward tothis point.It seems I had been manipulated by myself to my own ends withoutmy knowledge.I was scandalized.I had grown used to humankind's ignorance or disavowal ofits own purposes, and I had learned to look behind the words, ideas, andimages that people hold before themselves to justify what they do.But I hadnever suspected I could act with such ignorance.Now an uncertainty equal to death's hovers over everything I do.My own priorself stands behind me, pulling strings that I cannot see or feel, a ghost thathaunts me without making itself seen or heard, a ghost whose presence must beinferred from nearly-invisible traces.So I went to Toshi, who is interested in such things, and I told him my story,and I said to him: "I am controlled by the invisible hand of my own past." Andhe laughed very hard and said, "Welcome, brother human."Page 85 [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]