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.“Sorry, sugar.We have to play tonight, and I haven’t practiced in …,” he flexed his stiff fingers, “way too long.”“Ohhh …,” I moaned.We both had to work that night.The Aurora was re-opening after the Christmas break with its annual New Years Eve party.Apparently it was a huge event, bringing in crowds of people every year.Grey’s band was slated to play and I was going to be stationed in the bar.Walter had trained me to work there himself, as quickly and abruptly as he did everything else—but I actually found that I liked it.It was easier to bartend than to try and squeeze through the drunken throng, carrying a tray and trying not to get stepped on.It was harried and chaotic behind the bar, remembering recipes and shooter mixes and trying to keep up with the orders being screamed at me.But I always liked a challenge.The biggest challenge yet was going to be just getting out of our bed.I didn’t want to leave the room; I didn’t really want to face the world.But Grey insisted it would be good for me to get up and out of the house.I think he was worried.Because of the heroin.We hadn’t just slipped from the precipice of control, we’d jumped headfirst off of it, and now we had to try and regain some measure of the life we’d left behind on the cliff.But I didn’t know if I could.I didn’t really want to.I could’ve spent the rest of my life with Grey in our room, his arms wrapped around me, drugs in our systems, staring out the big picture window at the twinkling stars, the bright face of the moon peeking out over the soft silver clouds.Just like we’d done on so many nights.Happy.Together.He smirked at the play of sadness on my face as I watched him get ready to go.How rapidly this man had become my whole entire life.Even an afternoon without him was like total agony.If I could’ve felt sad at that moment, I would’ve.“It’s only for the afternoon, Mackenzie.I’ll see you tonight, at the club.” He chided.“I know you will.But I miss you already.” I pouted.“I love you, you know.”Grey laughed at my dramatics.“I love you too.” It was easy for him to say now, but I never tired of hearing it.I gave him a glorious smile as he bent to kiss me goodbye, taking advantage of his nearness and grasping his hands to pull him closer yet.“Will you play my song tonight?” I wondered in his ear.“Hmmm … maybe.It’s not exactly to the tune of Auld Lang Synge though, is it?”I giggled.“I guess not.I just want everyone to know.”“Know what?” His blue eyes shone at me.“That I’m yours.”“Mackenzie,” he smirked, “that’s never been a question.”And though he left me then, he left me on a good note.My lips were still tingling from his kisses as I fell back onto our bed with a sigh, dreading the long hours until we would be together again.I hated when Grey was gone, I hated being alone.I sat on our bed, tracing a finger down the red scabby lines that crossed my arm, lines I’d somehow managed to hide from him.I knew I shouldn’t push off; I knew I had to be sober enough to concentrate on work in only a few hours.But I just couldn’t handle the quiet.When the heroin began to fade, when there was no one else around, the thoughts began to seep in.Thoughts of sorrow and despair.Of utter hopelessness.Thoughts I couldn’t handle.I cooked myself up a batch and shot it quickly.I was a pro by now; the needle didn’t bother me at all.I still let Grey do it for me most of the time, but that was mostly because he liked to do it for me.He wanted to be the one to give me pleasure, of any kind.And I didn’t mind that a bit.I was still lying back against the bed, slack and motionless, when my cell phone started to ring.I stared at it a moment, debating, until it fell silent.Time passed.My cell phone rang again, and this time when it did, I sighed and rolled over to answer it.“Hello?”“Hey bitch! Where the hell are you?” Charlie giggled over the phone.“Huh? What do you mean?”“You’re supposed to come over today, remember? To get ready for tonight.”“Oh, yeah.Shit.” I sat up.“What time is it?”“Like four.Grab your stuff and get over here.”“I like, just woke up.” I lied.“I haven’t showered or anything.”“Do it over here.Come on, Mac.I’ve got your uniform for tonight.It’s sexy.”“Is it?” I bit my lip.I didn’t want to face reality, not yet.“Mac!”“Okay, okay, I’ll be right over.”“Hurry up!” She was laughing again as she hung up the phone.I groaned and flipped my cell shut.I forced myself off the bed, stumbling around my room and gathering some things—my heels, my bra, some undies, some jewellery.I shoved it all into my purse and then threw on some jeans, a t-shirt, my skate shoes and my old winter jacket.I didn’t even look at myself in the mirror.Grabbing my car keys from the counter, I headed out of the house for the first time in a week.I was totally unprepared for the cold.Somehow I had forgotten about winter.It hit me with all its force, the brunt of the icy wind shuddering down my back and stiffening my muscles.I cringed my head down into the collar of my jacket and headed blindly into the snow, climbing into my frozen car for the first time since … since Christmas.I tried not to think about that, shivering as I turned the key.To my utter amazement, the car chugged to life.I smiled at my good fortune and pulled into the icy streets, the engine whining in protest.The vents were still blowing cold by the time I got to Charlie’s house.I ran up the old familiar stairs, even more treacherous now that they were covered in snow and ice, and headed into the house without even bothering to knock.Charlie and Courtney were sitting at the counter.Their heads turned in surprise as I burst into the room, letting a draft of cold, frozen air in with me.They stared at me as I took my shoes off.“What?” I wondered.“Fuck Mac,” Charlie raised her eyebrows.“You look like shit.”“Yeah dude.” Courtney agreed with surprise.“I told you, I just woke up.” I took off my coat and shuddered from the cold.“I haven’t had a chance to do anything with myself yet.”“Right.” Charlie was sceptical, I could tell.The smile fell from her face.“Well, go get a shower then.It looks like I have my work cut out for me tonight.”I made a face at her and breezed past them down the hallway.They were oddly silent, watching me walk by [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.“Sorry, sugar.We have to play tonight, and I haven’t practiced in …,” he flexed his stiff fingers, “way too long.”“Ohhh …,” I moaned.We both had to work that night.The Aurora was re-opening after the Christmas break with its annual New Years Eve party.Apparently it was a huge event, bringing in crowds of people every year.Grey’s band was slated to play and I was going to be stationed in the bar.Walter had trained me to work there himself, as quickly and abruptly as he did everything else—but I actually found that I liked it.It was easier to bartend than to try and squeeze through the drunken throng, carrying a tray and trying not to get stepped on.It was harried and chaotic behind the bar, remembering recipes and shooter mixes and trying to keep up with the orders being screamed at me.But I always liked a challenge.The biggest challenge yet was going to be just getting out of our bed.I didn’t want to leave the room; I didn’t really want to face the world.But Grey insisted it would be good for me to get up and out of the house.I think he was worried.Because of the heroin.We hadn’t just slipped from the precipice of control, we’d jumped headfirst off of it, and now we had to try and regain some measure of the life we’d left behind on the cliff.But I didn’t know if I could.I didn’t really want to.I could’ve spent the rest of my life with Grey in our room, his arms wrapped around me, drugs in our systems, staring out the big picture window at the twinkling stars, the bright face of the moon peeking out over the soft silver clouds.Just like we’d done on so many nights.Happy.Together.He smirked at the play of sadness on my face as I watched him get ready to go.How rapidly this man had become my whole entire life.Even an afternoon without him was like total agony.If I could’ve felt sad at that moment, I would’ve.“It’s only for the afternoon, Mackenzie.I’ll see you tonight, at the club.” He chided.“I know you will.But I miss you already.” I pouted.“I love you, you know.”Grey laughed at my dramatics.“I love you too.” It was easy for him to say now, but I never tired of hearing it.I gave him a glorious smile as he bent to kiss me goodbye, taking advantage of his nearness and grasping his hands to pull him closer yet.“Will you play my song tonight?” I wondered in his ear.“Hmmm … maybe.It’s not exactly to the tune of Auld Lang Synge though, is it?”I giggled.“I guess not.I just want everyone to know.”“Know what?” His blue eyes shone at me.“That I’m yours.”“Mackenzie,” he smirked, “that’s never been a question.”And though he left me then, he left me on a good note.My lips were still tingling from his kisses as I fell back onto our bed with a sigh, dreading the long hours until we would be together again.I hated when Grey was gone, I hated being alone.I sat on our bed, tracing a finger down the red scabby lines that crossed my arm, lines I’d somehow managed to hide from him.I knew I shouldn’t push off; I knew I had to be sober enough to concentrate on work in only a few hours.But I just couldn’t handle the quiet.When the heroin began to fade, when there was no one else around, the thoughts began to seep in.Thoughts of sorrow and despair.Of utter hopelessness.Thoughts I couldn’t handle.I cooked myself up a batch and shot it quickly.I was a pro by now; the needle didn’t bother me at all.I still let Grey do it for me most of the time, but that was mostly because he liked to do it for me.He wanted to be the one to give me pleasure, of any kind.And I didn’t mind that a bit.I was still lying back against the bed, slack and motionless, when my cell phone started to ring.I stared at it a moment, debating, until it fell silent.Time passed.My cell phone rang again, and this time when it did, I sighed and rolled over to answer it.“Hello?”“Hey bitch! Where the hell are you?” Charlie giggled over the phone.“Huh? What do you mean?”“You’re supposed to come over today, remember? To get ready for tonight.”“Oh, yeah.Shit.” I sat up.“What time is it?”“Like four.Grab your stuff and get over here.”“I like, just woke up.” I lied.“I haven’t showered or anything.”“Do it over here.Come on, Mac.I’ve got your uniform for tonight.It’s sexy.”“Is it?” I bit my lip.I didn’t want to face reality, not yet.“Mac!”“Okay, okay, I’ll be right over.”“Hurry up!” She was laughing again as she hung up the phone.I groaned and flipped my cell shut.I forced myself off the bed, stumbling around my room and gathering some things—my heels, my bra, some undies, some jewellery.I shoved it all into my purse and then threw on some jeans, a t-shirt, my skate shoes and my old winter jacket.I didn’t even look at myself in the mirror.Grabbing my car keys from the counter, I headed out of the house for the first time in a week.I was totally unprepared for the cold.Somehow I had forgotten about winter.It hit me with all its force, the brunt of the icy wind shuddering down my back and stiffening my muscles.I cringed my head down into the collar of my jacket and headed blindly into the snow, climbing into my frozen car for the first time since … since Christmas.I tried not to think about that, shivering as I turned the key.To my utter amazement, the car chugged to life.I smiled at my good fortune and pulled into the icy streets, the engine whining in protest.The vents were still blowing cold by the time I got to Charlie’s house.I ran up the old familiar stairs, even more treacherous now that they were covered in snow and ice, and headed into the house without even bothering to knock.Charlie and Courtney were sitting at the counter.Their heads turned in surprise as I burst into the room, letting a draft of cold, frozen air in with me.They stared at me as I took my shoes off.“What?” I wondered.“Fuck Mac,” Charlie raised her eyebrows.“You look like shit.”“Yeah dude.” Courtney agreed with surprise.“I told you, I just woke up.” I took off my coat and shuddered from the cold.“I haven’t had a chance to do anything with myself yet.”“Right.” Charlie was sceptical, I could tell.The smile fell from her face.“Well, go get a shower then.It looks like I have my work cut out for me tonight.”I made a face at her and breezed past them down the hallway.They were oddly silent, watching me walk by [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]