[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
."All the anger drained out of him and left his soul deflated.He had never meant toaaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rhurt Alix or anyone else.Zarina pulled out a chair and took a seat."I'm listening.Explain to me why youstare after Alix like a gimfry sniffing food, then you cut her heart out." She took aswig of water and Devyn wished she'd choke on it.Guilt and pain ripped through his gut.He hadn't asked to be attracted to Alix.God knew if he could turn off his feelings, he would.But something inside himkept reaching out to Alix every time he looked at her.Dammit, he couldn't allow Alix to invade his life, to make him care again.Heneeded to be unattached.His missions were the only thing he could do, the onlyway he could make amends.No one must ever come between him and his job."I don't really want to talk about this with you," he said, turning to leave.Zarina gave him that old chiding look that was unique to her."I bet you neverthought Onone could cause you more pain dead than she did when she was alive."His breath caught in his throat.He knew better than to ask how Zarina knewwhat had him bothered.She'd always had an irritating ability to read people.Justlike his dad."This isn't about Onone.""Then what's it about?"Sighing, Devyn pulled another bottle out of the cooling unit and took a seat nextto Zarina.No use trying to leave; she'd only pursue him until he either told herwhat bothered him, or he killed her."Everything," he said.By the skeptical look on her face, he knew she didn't believe him.Devyn sighed and tried again."All right, maybe I've just learned to leave thingsalone.For the first time in a long while, I like myself and my life and I don't wantit to change.I have my freedom, my ship, and missions that mean something.If Itied myself to Alix, I'd lose everything I've built.""Pah-lease!"Anger burned raw in his throat.His vision darkened."Don't act outraged.Youknow what I'm talking about.Both our fathers gave up their careers for ourmothers.Calix, who swore he'd never allow any woman to rule him, stoppedsmuggling as soon as he met his wife.Name me one person who continued theirold life once they married.""My brother Adron."aaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rDevyn almost spewed his water."Bad example.Correct me if I'm wrong, butdidn't his enemies kill his pregnant wife? And look at him now.Crippled,embittered, and living alone on an isolated planet." He shook his head."Yep,show me where to sign up for that future."Zarina punched him in the arm."Don't forget cynical.You've already got thatdown to a fine art."He rubbed his aching biceps.If only he could ease the pain in his heart as easily.Zarina stood.She stared down at him with a pitying look that scorched his souland made him want to push her back into her chair."Unless you change yourways, you're going to be a lonely old man, Devyn Kell."Chapter FiveDevyn stared at the dull gray ceiling overhead.He knew the outline of each steelplate and rivet.For the last two hours, he'd done nothing but look up and think.After so much time, he thought he'd have an answer to the three billion questionsand concerns torturing him.Instead, he'd only uncovered more confusion.Zarina's words haunted him.He didn't want to grow old alone.He'd giveanything to have the kind of love his parents shared, but he wasn't sure hewanted to pay the price of such love.Adron was a prime example.And, of course,Sway.Every time Claria left, Sway fell into a deep depression.A depression madeworse by the fact that Sway knew the two of them could never remain together nomatter how much they loved each other.That kind of love Devyn could dowithout.The only alternative would be to leave everything behind and settle down as hisfather had done.After all, his father had given up a legendary career to go back toschool and become a mundane surgeon who never got shot at or arrested.Evenhis mother had left her career as a bounder so that he would have a normalchildhood with two parents.But Devyn just couldn't see himself following afterthem.Maybe he had too many Laing genes in him for that.The thought of givingup his missions tore at him worse than the fear of being alone.No, he owed too many people a chance.As an officer in the HAWC, he had causedtoo many deaths, executed too many people.If he quit running humanitarianmissions now, he'd never be able to live with himself."Do you love me?" Onone's voice taunted him from the past.His stomach lurched from guilt and pain.At the time, he'd answered yes, but now he knew the truth.Devyn almost laughedaaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rat himself and his stupidity.No one should be held accountable for what theythink they want when they're young.He had been attracted to Onone's beauty and sophistication.Too young to seethrough the shallow waters of her lies, he'd allowed her to use him right up to thelast.He had been nothing to her except a distraction, a passing amusement.Delusion's Gate.He remembered his father telling him stories about the lostcivilization where nothing was ever what it seemed.On the one side everythingwas beautiful and pure, yet underneath the surface twisted darkness lurked,waiting to trap the unwary traveler.And he had walked right into it, eyes blindand heart open.His father had done his damnedest to warn him away fromOnone, but he hadn't listened.Slash a mark for Dad.But Alix didn't play that game.She was different.He knew that.He couldn'tforget her.Her goodness went deeper than physical beauty, and that scared himmore than anything else."I've never spent more than two weeks on a planet in my life." Devyn closed hiseyes, trying to blot out the image of Alix's face when she'd said the words.And heknew the truth.She wouldn't ask him to settle down; she'd be right by his side onevery mission.Every time someone opened fire on their ship, she'd be therebeside him, her life one plasma blast from ending.One little miscalculation andshe'd disappear from his life as quickly as she'd stumbled into it.Of course he could try a less dangerous career.Maybe captain a freighter like herfather.Devyn nearly bolted off the bed.What the hell was he thinking? He couldnever be a freighter captain any more than he could allow Alix to die.If he had one single brain cell capable of working, he'd dump Alix off the shipwith Zarina.Before it was too late.His stomach tightened at the thought of never seeing her again."Dammit!" he snarled.He was in control here, not Alix.She could be pushed out of his thoughts.He'd prove it.With that thought, hewent to the weight room.A little exercise and he'd feel a lot better.He didn't needa woman he barely knew clouding his thoughts, making him rethink a life-shaping decision he had made a long time ago.An important decision he knewwas right.Alix glanced up as the door opened.Her heart lurched at the sight of Devyn andshe wanted a big hole to appear in the side of the ship and suck her out intospace.aaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rHe looked gorgeous in a pair of tight black exercise shorts.His naked upper bodydisplayed perfection [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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."All the anger drained out of him and left his soul deflated.He had never meant toaaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rhurt Alix or anyone else.Zarina pulled out a chair and took a seat."I'm listening.Explain to me why youstare after Alix like a gimfry sniffing food, then you cut her heart out." She took aswig of water and Devyn wished she'd choke on it.Guilt and pain ripped through his gut.He hadn't asked to be attracted to Alix.God knew if he could turn off his feelings, he would.But something inside himkept reaching out to Alix every time he looked at her.Dammit, he couldn't allow Alix to invade his life, to make him care again.Heneeded to be unattached.His missions were the only thing he could do, the onlyway he could make amends.No one must ever come between him and his job."I don't really want to talk about this with you," he said, turning to leave.Zarina gave him that old chiding look that was unique to her."I bet you neverthought Onone could cause you more pain dead than she did when she was alive."His breath caught in his throat.He knew better than to ask how Zarina knewwhat had him bothered.She'd always had an irritating ability to read people.Justlike his dad."This isn't about Onone.""Then what's it about?"Sighing, Devyn pulled another bottle out of the cooling unit and took a seat nextto Zarina.No use trying to leave; she'd only pursue him until he either told herwhat bothered him, or he killed her."Everything," he said.By the skeptical look on her face, he knew she didn't believe him.Devyn sighed and tried again."All right, maybe I've just learned to leave thingsalone.For the first time in a long while, I like myself and my life and I don't wantit to change.I have my freedom, my ship, and missions that mean something.If Itied myself to Alix, I'd lose everything I've built.""Pah-lease!"Anger burned raw in his throat.His vision darkened."Don't act outraged.Youknow what I'm talking about.Both our fathers gave up their careers for ourmothers.Calix, who swore he'd never allow any woman to rule him, stoppedsmuggling as soon as he met his wife.Name me one person who continued theirold life once they married.""My brother Adron."aaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rDevyn almost spewed his water."Bad example.Correct me if I'm wrong, butdidn't his enemies kill his pregnant wife? And look at him now.Crippled,embittered, and living alone on an isolated planet." He shook his head."Yep,show me where to sign up for that future."Zarina punched him in the arm."Don't forget cynical.You've already got thatdown to a fine art."He rubbed his aching biceps.If only he could ease the pain in his heart as easily.Zarina stood.She stared down at him with a pitying look that scorched his souland made him want to push her back into her chair."Unless you change yourways, you're going to be a lonely old man, Devyn Kell."Chapter FiveDevyn stared at the dull gray ceiling overhead.He knew the outline of each steelplate and rivet.For the last two hours, he'd done nothing but look up and think.After so much time, he thought he'd have an answer to the three billion questionsand concerns torturing him.Instead, he'd only uncovered more confusion.Zarina's words haunted him.He didn't want to grow old alone.He'd giveanything to have the kind of love his parents shared, but he wasn't sure hewanted to pay the price of such love.Adron was a prime example.And, of course,Sway.Every time Claria left, Sway fell into a deep depression.A depression madeworse by the fact that Sway knew the two of them could never remain together nomatter how much they loved each other.That kind of love Devyn could dowithout.The only alternative would be to leave everything behind and settle down as hisfather had done.After all, his father had given up a legendary career to go back toschool and become a mundane surgeon who never got shot at or arrested.Evenhis mother had left her career as a bounder so that he would have a normalchildhood with two parents.But Devyn just couldn't see himself following afterthem.Maybe he had too many Laing genes in him for that.The thought of givingup his missions tore at him worse than the fear of being alone.No, he owed too many people a chance.As an officer in the HAWC, he had causedtoo many deaths, executed too many people.If he quit running humanitarianmissions now, he'd never be able to live with himself."Do you love me?" Onone's voice taunted him from the past.His stomach lurched from guilt and pain.At the time, he'd answered yes, but now he knew the truth.Devyn almost laughedaaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rat himself and his stupidity.No one should be held accountable for what theythink they want when they're young.He had been attracted to Onone's beauty and sophistication.Too young to seethrough the shallow waters of her lies, he'd allowed her to use him right up to thelast.He had been nothing to her except a distraction, a passing amusement.Delusion's Gate.He remembered his father telling him stories about the lostcivilization where nothing was ever what it seemed.On the one side everythingwas beautiful and pure, yet underneath the surface twisted darkness lurked,waiting to trap the unwary traveler.And he had walked right into it, eyes blindand heart open.His father had done his damnedest to warn him away fromOnone, but he hadn't listened.Slash a mark for Dad.But Alix didn't play that game.She was different.He knew that.He couldn'tforget her.Her goodness went deeper than physical beauty, and that scared himmore than anything else."I've never spent more than two weeks on a planet in my life." Devyn closed hiseyes, trying to blot out the image of Alix's face when she'd said the words.And heknew the truth.She wouldn't ask him to settle down; she'd be right by his side onevery mission.Every time someone opened fire on their ship, she'd be therebeside him, her life one plasma blast from ending.One little miscalculation andshe'd disappear from his life as quickly as she'd stumbled into it.Of course he could try a less dangerous career.Maybe captain a freighter like herfather.Devyn nearly bolted off the bed.What the hell was he thinking? He couldnever be a freighter captain any more than he could allow Alix to die.If he had one single brain cell capable of working, he'd dump Alix off the shipwith Zarina.Before it was too late.His stomach tightened at the thought of never seeing her again."Dammit!" he snarled.He was in control here, not Alix.She could be pushed out of his thoughts.He'd prove it.With that thought, hewent to the weight room.A little exercise and he'd feel a lot better.He didn't needa woman he barely knew clouding his thoughts, making him rethink a life-shaping decision he had made a long time ago.An important decision he knewwas right.Alix glanced up as the door opened.Her heart lurched at the sight of Devyn andshe wanted a big hole to appear in the side of the ship and suck her out intospace.aaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBB r rHe looked gorgeous in a pair of tight black exercise shorts.His naked upper bodydisplayed perfection [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]