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.Hesank into delirium, limbs twitching.His pain must have been immense.Raphael laydown on the bed and held Jacob to him.He traced slowcircles across Jacob's bare chest with the palm of his hand."It will soon be over," he whispered."I promise."It was almost time.119 I Am Fallen Scarlet BlackwellCHAPTER NINETEENRaphael and Jacob were curled together beneath thecovers when Lucifer returned.All he held dear lyingtogether as one.The rising sun cast stark patterns on thewooden floor and birdsong echoed within from the clifftop.Jacob whimpered in sleep, his hands opening andclosing convulsively on Raphael's wings, perspirationgleaming on his brow.Lucifer glanced towards themorphine on the bedside table.Would it be consideredsuicide if he encouraged Jacob to take a large enough doseto see him peacefully into the next life with no more pain?Would God see it as an accident or would he cast Jacob'ssoul straight into the pit? Lucifer got a shudder when hethought about possessing Jacob's soul.He still didn't knowhow he'd had the strength to prevent Jacob from drowningthat night or where his altruism had come from, when hewas popularly supposed to have honed his wickedness overmillennia.Raphael stirred.He blinked at Lucifer as he hoveredby the bed."You've seen him." Not a question but astatement.Lucifer nodded his assent."And?"120 I Am Fallen Scarlet Blackwell"I pleaded Jacob's cause.He wasn't all thatinterested but He did find it curious that I had beenunwilling to take his soul when Jacob had offered it to meso blatantly.""As do I," Raphael murmured softly."In any event, He told me Jacob's suffering wouldbe over soon enough." Lucifer glanced at Jacob, loweredhis voice."This week.When you're better."Raphael stroked Jacob's hair."It can't be soonenough." His tone was gentle, belying the harshness of hiswords.Lucifer swallowed.He felt that iciness pricking athis eyes again, something he had not known in centuries.Not since he had lost Raphael.He slid into the bed on the other side of Jacob so heand Raphael held him between them."And I?" Raphael asked, green-gold gaze fixed onhim."I told him you were blameless.That your actionsdidn't lessen your love for him.That I was culpable, asalways.""What did he say?""He sneered at me.I saw the hurt in his eyes.It'sstill there, despite all these years.I know I continue to hurthim.I told him Michael wounded you.He didn't respond.121 I Am Fallen Scarlet BlackwellHe merely sat there watching me, implacably." Jacob'swhimpers tailed away as Lucifer slid a hand over his chest."He didn't want to talk about you."Raphael's hand closed over his.When they bothtouched Jacob like this, he fell completely silent.Thetortured convulsions of his limbs became still.The sweatdried on his brow."He waits for me to return.To take hisdue."Lucifer's fingers entwined with his."Don't beafraid."Tears brimmed in Raphael's eyes.He nuzzledJacob's hair."I wish it was all over."Lucifer didn't know if he spoke about Jacob orabout him.* * * *Jacob awoke to sunshine and the scent of flowers.The shutters were flung back and Emily swept the floorbusily.His lips were dry and cracked.When he tried to lifta hand to the cup on his bedside table, his arm feltdisconnected from his body.The pain burned in his armpit,flashed across his chest, tracked down his torso, leavingflames in its wake.He gritted his teeth, his head thrownback, riding the crest of the agony.122 I Am Fallen Scarlet Blackwell"Jacob, my dear." Emily laid her hand on hisclammy forehead, having long since adopted his Christianname, at his insistence."Hush." Jacob watched her pour adose of the morphine into the medicine cup.She lifted hishead to help him drink.Jacob swallowed, shuddered at the taste, the fieryglow burning its way down his oesophagus.He sank back,gasping a little."Jacob, would you that I fetch the doctor?"Jacob licked his lips."He can't do anything for me,Emily.""Do you want to sit up and drink?""Yes."Emily took him under the left arm.She tried vainlyto hoist him up the bed.Jacob dug his heels in, pushedhimself on trembling legs, succeeded in wedging his headuncomfortably against the wooden headboard, necktwisted.Emily swiftly lifted his head forward, insertedanother pillow behind him.She brought the cup to his lips.Jacob swallowed weakly.His throat burned withagony as the water slid down.His gaze followed Emily asshe pulled the table to his bed."You shouldn't help me tomove that way.I'll hurt you.""Nonsense," she said.She kept her eyes averted.123 I Am Fallen Scarlet Blackwell"Here's your breakfast, although you're a little late." Shefussed with the plates on the table and her lip trembled."Emily.""It's nothing." Emily pulled a handkerchief from herpocket, covered most of her face with it."What's wrong?"She stifled a sob into the hanky."I can't bear to seeyou in this pain.It breaks my heart.""Hush, it's all right.I have my morphine.""That stuff doesn't help you, it only makes youdelirious." Tears tracked down her furrowed cheeks."Emily." Jacob reached out and the housekeeperstumbled closer, taking his hand."You don't have to worryabout me.I promise." Jacob tried a smile.Their gazes held.Jacob knew what his own words meant and trusted shewould, too.It would soon be over and unlike yesterday,today the resignation overwhelmed him.No more pain.Nomore helpless lying here and relying on the charity ofothers.Emily wept noisily.She pulled her hand free anddisappeared out of the bedroom.Jacob lay still.His eyes turned to the morphinebottle with the pain singing in his bones.He wanted morebut he couldn't lift his arm and he doubted he could foolEmily into giving him more.Not when she knew the dose [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Hesank into delirium, limbs twitching.His pain must have been immense.Raphael laydown on the bed and held Jacob to him.He traced slowcircles across Jacob's bare chest with the palm of his hand."It will soon be over," he whispered."I promise."It was almost time.119 I Am Fallen Scarlet BlackwellCHAPTER NINETEENRaphael and Jacob were curled together beneath thecovers when Lucifer returned.All he held dear lyingtogether as one.The rising sun cast stark patterns on thewooden floor and birdsong echoed within from the clifftop.Jacob whimpered in sleep, his hands opening andclosing convulsively on Raphael's wings, perspirationgleaming on his brow.Lucifer glanced towards themorphine on the bedside table.Would it be consideredsuicide if he encouraged Jacob to take a large enough doseto see him peacefully into the next life with no more pain?Would God see it as an accident or would he cast Jacob'ssoul straight into the pit? Lucifer got a shudder when hethought about possessing Jacob's soul.He still didn't knowhow he'd had the strength to prevent Jacob from drowningthat night or where his altruism had come from, when hewas popularly supposed to have honed his wickedness overmillennia.Raphael stirred.He blinked at Lucifer as he hoveredby the bed."You've seen him." Not a question but astatement.Lucifer nodded his assent."And?"120 I Am Fallen Scarlet Blackwell"I pleaded Jacob's cause.He wasn't all thatinterested but He did find it curious that I had beenunwilling to take his soul when Jacob had offered it to meso blatantly.""As do I," Raphael murmured softly."In any event, He told me Jacob's suffering wouldbe over soon enough." Lucifer glanced at Jacob, loweredhis voice."This week.When you're better."Raphael stroked Jacob's hair."It can't be soonenough." His tone was gentle, belying the harshness of hiswords.Lucifer swallowed.He felt that iciness pricking athis eyes again, something he had not known in centuries.Not since he had lost Raphael.He slid into the bed on the other side of Jacob so heand Raphael held him between them."And I?" Raphael asked, green-gold gaze fixed onhim."I told him you were blameless.That your actionsdidn't lessen your love for him.That I was culpable, asalways.""What did he say?""He sneered at me.I saw the hurt in his eyes.It'sstill there, despite all these years.I know I continue to hurthim.I told him Michael wounded you.He didn't respond.121 I Am Fallen Scarlet BlackwellHe merely sat there watching me, implacably." Jacob'swhimpers tailed away as Lucifer slid a hand over his chest."He didn't want to talk about you."Raphael's hand closed over his.When they bothtouched Jacob like this, he fell completely silent.Thetortured convulsions of his limbs became still.The sweatdried on his brow."He waits for me to return.To take hisdue."Lucifer's fingers entwined with his."Don't beafraid."Tears brimmed in Raphael's eyes.He nuzzledJacob's hair."I wish it was all over."Lucifer didn't know if he spoke about Jacob orabout him.* * * *Jacob awoke to sunshine and the scent of flowers.The shutters were flung back and Emily swept the floorbusily.His lips were dry and cracked.When he tried to lifta hand to the cup on his bedside table, his arm feltdisconnected from his body.The pain burned in his armpit,flashed across his chest, tracked down his torso, leavingflames in its wake.He gritted his teeth, his head thrownback, riding the crest of the agony.122 I Am Fallen Scarlet Blackwell"Jacob, my dear." Emily laid her hand on hisclammy forehead, having long since adopted his Christianname, at his insistence."Hush." Jacob watched her pour adose of the morphine into the medicine cup.She lifted hishead to help him drink.Jacob swallowed, shuddered at the taste, the fieryglow burning its way down his oesophagus.He sank back,gasping a little."Jacob, would you that I fetch the doctor?"Jacob licked his lips."He can't do anything for me,Emily.""Do you want to sit up and drink?""Yes."Emily took him under the left arm.She tried vainlyto hoist him up the bed.Jacob dug his heels in, pushedhimself on trembling legs, succeeded in wedging his headuncomfortably against the wooden headboard, necktwisted.Emily swiftly lifted his head forward, insertedanother pillow behind him.She brought the cup to his lips.Jacob swallowed weakly.His throat burned withagony as the water slid down.His gaze followed Emily asshe pulled the table to his bed."You shouldn't help me tomove that way.I'll hurt you.""Nonsense," she said.She kept her eyes averted.123 I Am Fallen Scarlet Blackwell"Here's your breakfast, although you're a little late." Shefussed with the plates on the table and her lip trembled."Emily.""It's nothing." Emily pulled a handkerchief from herpocket, covered most of her face with it."What's wrong?"She stifled a sob into the hanky."I can't bear to seeyou in this pain.It breaks my heart.""Hush, it's all right.I have my morphine.""That stuff doesn't help you, it only makes youdelirious." Tears tracked down her furrowed cheeks."Emily." Jacob reached out and the housekeeperstumbled closer, taking his hand."You don't have to worryabout me.I promise." Jacob tried a smile.Their gazes held.Jacob knew what his own words meant and trusted shewould, too.It would soon be over and unlike yesterday,today the resignation overwhelmed him.No more pain.Nomore helpless lying here and relying on the charity ofothers.Emily wept noisily.She pulled her hand free anddisappeared out of the bedroom.Jacob lay still.His eyes turned to the morphinebottle with the pain singing in his bones.He wanted morebut he couldn't lift his arm and he doubted he could foolEmily into giving him more.Not when she knew the dose [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]