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.Though we neverhad an affair, and though I would have been horrified to think of Robin's leaving hermarriage or her public career for me, I didn't wonder at Kenneth's jealousy of us.What I didn't understand for many years was that while Robin was cultivating an intimacywith me, she was also under pressure from left-wing lesbian/feminists (then a growing forcein the women's movement) to produce lesbian credentials.She managed to boost her imageboth as a leftist and a militant feminist by resorting to public and private hints that she hada woman lover who was underground.This, of course, jeopardized my security.It alsomade me seem like a liar, or at least strangely reticent, when I finally met Robin's feministacquaintances and innocently denied that we had been lovers.Robin had implied thecontrary so often and in so many parts of the country that ten years later I still encounterwomen who think that we had an affair.When I came home from my trip with Robin, Polly told me she was moving.Tired of ekingout a living as a maid, she had accepted an offer from her parents to spend the summercaring for their house in Connecticut while they vacationed in the West.She asked if Iwanted to move east with her.A greater treat than a free summer in the vicinity of myfamily and Robin I could not imagine, but I also realized that Polly was asking me mostlyfrom politeness.I could not take advantage of her generosity without explaining the riskespecially if my family and friends were going to visit me in the Connecticut house.So Iexplained my situation and added that if she had no objection, I would be very grateful toaccompany her.I think Polly must have found it hard to take my fugitive status seriously.Or perhaps she was simply too kind to hold it against me.She put her arms around me andsaid, "Welcome," and assured me that it made no difference to her at all.202 At the same time Rudd and Flan were making plans to rejoin the Weather Underground atsome undisclosed location.In anticipation of this I had given them a note to pass on toBernardine Dohrn, who in the past year appeared to have risen to sole leadership of theorganization.I told Bernardine that although I'd changed my political views and become afeminist since the last time we had seen each other, I would still be interested in meetingwith her and possibly with other Weatherwomen at a convenient time and place.Bernardinehad sent back a warm message suggesting a meeting in San Francisco in early July.Thissounded perfect: I could spend June in San Diego seeing friends from my c-r group and,after my meeting with Bernardine, drive east to join Polly in Connecticut.I told Robin with great excitement about Polly's offer and about my planned meeting withBernardine and perhaps other women in "the Beatles." While she was delighted to hearabout the Connecticut opportunity and sent me some money which, together with acontribution from my parents, would pay for the trip, her letter was filled withadmonishments about the other part of my news."I think it is a fantastic chance," she wrote, "for, well of things to happen, but it could alsobe an important chance for you to really raise your own banner very high, in a kind of testagainst the situation." She understood, she said, how much I wanted colleagues with whomI could let my hair down and that I might be unwilling to alienate them by coming on withtoo strong a feminist line.But the Weatherwomen, she felt, "seem daring enough to respectand respond to a direct 'Hound of Heaven' breathing-urgently-down-the-neck approachregarding feminism, as opposed to subtle hints and suede gloves." In any case, whetherthey could respect it or not, she had expectations of me."What I'm whiffling around tryingto say," she wrote, "is that you better damned not wimp out with them or I'll be really'pissed off.' The least they can do is listen and the worst they can do is think you're crazy.Which you really do have the potential of becoming and better learn to be shiningly proudof.""Hound of heaven," indeed.Much as I adored Robin, her presumptuousness could get on mynerves.What right did she have to suggest how I ought to act with people she didn't evenknow? Yet I acknowledged the need for her warning [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Though we neverhad an affair, and though I would have been horrified to think of Robin's leaving hermarriage or her public career for me, I didn't wonder at Kenneth's jealousy of us.What I didn't understand for many years was that while Robin was cultivating an intimacywith me, she was also under pressure from left-wing lesbian/feminists (then a growing forcein the women's movement) to produce lesbian credentials.She managed to boost her imageboth as a leftist and a militant feminist by resorting to public and private hints that she hada woman lover who was underground.This, of course, jeopardized my security.It alsomade me seem like a liar, or at least strangely reticent, when I finally met Robin's feministacquaintances and innocently denied that we had been lovers.Robin had implied thecontrary so often and in so many parts of the country that ten years later I still encounterwomen who think that we had an affair.When I came home from my trip with Robin, Polly told me she was moving.Tired of ekingout a living as a maid, she had accepted an offer from her parents to spend the summercaring for their house in Connecticut while they vacationed in the West.She asked if Iwanted to move east with her.A greater treat than a free summer in the vicinity of myfamily and Robin I could not imagine, but I also realized that Polly was asking me mostlyfrom politeness.I could not take advantage of her generosity without explaining the riskespecially if my family and friends were going to visit me in the Connecticut house.So Iexplained my situation and added that if she had no objection, I would be very grateful toaccompany her.I think Polly must have found it hard to take my fugitive status seriously.Or perhaps she was simply too kind to hold it against me.She put her arms around me andsaid, "Welcome," and assured me that it made no difference to her at all.202 At the same time Rudd and Flan were making plans to rejoin the Weather Underground atsome undisclosed location.In anticipation of this I had given them a note to pass on toBernardine Dohrn, who in the past year appeared to have risen to sole leadership of theorganization.I told Bernardine that although I'd changed my political views and become afeminist since the last time we had seen each other, I would still be interested in meetingwith her and possibly with other Weatherwomen at a convenient time and place.Bernardinehad sent back a warm message suggesting a meeting in San Francisco in early July.Thissounded perfect: I could spend June in San Diego seeing friends from my c-r group and,after my meeting with Bernardine, drive east to join Polly in Connecticut.I told Robin with great excitement about Polly's offer and about my planned meeting withBernardine and perhaps other women in "the Beatles." While she was delighted to hearabout the Connecticut opportunity and sent me some money which, together with acontribution from my parents, would pay for the trip, her letter was filled withadmonishments about the other part of my news."I think it is a fantastic chance," she wrote, "for, well of things to happen, but it could alsobe an important chance for you to really raise your own banner very high, in a kind of testagainst the situation." She understood, she said, how much I wanted colleagues with whomI could let my hair down and that I might be unwilling to alienate them by coming on withtoo strong a feminist line.But the Weatherwomen, she felt, "seem daring enough to respectand respond to a direct 'Hound of Heaven' breathing-urgently-down-the-neck approachregarding feminism, as opposed to subtle hints and suede gloves." In any case, whetherthey could respect it or not, she had expectations of me."What I'm whiffling around tryingto say," she wrote, "is that you better damned not wimp out with them or I'll be really'pissed off.' The least they can do is listen and the worst they can do is think you're crazy.Which you really do have the potential of becoming and better learn to be shiningly proudof.""Hound of heaven," indeed.Much as I adored Robin, her presumptuousness could get on mynerves.What right did she have to suggest how I ought to act with people she didn't evenknow? Yet I acknowledged the need for her warning [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]