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.Shutthe door behind me, then waited quietly as I glancedblindly around the chambers, wondering if I shouldgo even though I wanted to stay."You may sit," he said."Or pace, if you prefer."I looked at him sharply."You know me too well, »su'fali—do you know why I have come?"He smiled and sat down in an X-legged chair."No.But I know you are Cheysuli, even without thecolor.and I know how these walls can chafe us.How they bind our souls too taut.""I5 it the walls?" I asked."Or the prison of ourduty?"lan's smile died."Both," he told me quietly."Haveyou only just come to know it?"I stared at him."Do you mean— you—? You, su'fali'?But—I thought—""—that as liege man to the Mujhar, I could onlyrelish the duty?" He shook his head."No, Keely.I am as troubled as you by the burdens of honor-bound oaths, by the demands of the prophecy.""Is that why you supported my bid for anothersword fight?"He stroked his bottom lip with a negligent finger."Oh,partly.And partly because you deserve a secondchance." He gestured to a second chair."Why >.notsit, Keely? Pacing wears down the knees."I sat.Stretched out my legs, knees intact, andCrowned.II him pensively."Su’fali—"Quietly, he overrode the beginnings of my ques-tion."Keely, what I told you outside was the truth.The union is necessary, which makes Niall's cautionunderstandable.He has no wish to curb your spirit,but he must.You are too impulsive at times, invitingaccident." He gestured a little."Today, as an exam-ple; you might have been hurt.You might have beenkilled."I shook my head."Not with Brennan, su'fali.Norwith any of Mujhara, they all know who I am.Andbesides, I know how to fight."Ian sighed."Arrogance born of ignorance.aye,well, Niall was as guilty of it when he was young.It iswhy I do not approve of the royal fledglings being-kept so close to the mews." He smiled a little andshifted."Keep-raised children know better; they havelearned to trust no one at all, until that trust isearned.'Solde and I grew up in Clankeep, but Niall didnot.It left him unprepared for the world."I stared at him in shock."My jehan? But he wentby himself to Valgaard and faced Strahan alone."Ian shrugged a little."Well, he went with me, but Ifell ill.aye, in the end, he did face Strahan alone.And that is what shaped him, Keely.Strahan,Lillith, the plague, the loss of a jehan, also a war withSolinde." He looked at me intently."It was much thesame with your rujholli.Before they came back fromValgaard, none of them were men.Warriors only inname, even with the training.Because until theyfaced the demands of their tahlmorras, they werenothing but lumps of clay.Strahan fired each ofthem in the kiln of Asar-Suti."I felt oddly cold, disliking intensely the pricklingof my scalp."Are you saying I, too, must faceStrahan?""By the gods, I hope not!" He thrust himself up-right in the chair."I would wish Strahan on no one,and never on one of our House; do you think I am afool?"His intensity took me aback."But—you just said—"Ian sighed and slumped back again."It was anexample, Keely.I was pointing out how loss andhardship can shape a soul.Carry a boy from childhood to manhood." He waved off the beginnings ofmy question."I mean only that you too readilyassume no danger can befall you.You are Keely ofHomana, Cheysuli, and daughter to the Mujhar.Yourpower is greater than most, which intensifies yourbelief that nothing can ever harm you." He toucheda finger to his head."In here, or without—" Thefinger moved to his heart, "—and certainly neverhere.Where it can hurt the most."'I drew in a deep breath, then expelled it slowly.Inits place fear crept in."I am afraid, su'fali.""Something I well understand." There was dis-tance in his eyes that spoke of private things.Thingshe would not divulge in words, but revealed all thesame in posture and eloquent eyes."But you dealt with it," I told him."Did I? Do I? Or do I simply ignore it?" He shookhis head slowly."I sired a child on Lillith.An Ihlini-Cheysuli child, who serves Asar-Suti.Abomination,Keely; she should not be allowed to live.I shouldhave hunted her down.Should have made sure ofher death.But I did not, ignoring it; believing, some-how, that such a course would alter her aim.gods, I was a fool—" he sighed, "—and Brennanpaid the price.Now another such child, bred forStrahan's amusement, for Strahan's purposes." For along moment he was silent, then shook his headagain."The Wheel of Life keeps turning, too oftenrepeating itself."I looked at him without blinking, transfixed by hiseyes."I could stop it," I told him."I could stop theWheel.""How?" my uncle asked, when he saw I did notjest."By not marrying Sean of Erinn."He frowned."Oh, I hardly think—""I do.If Aidan dies, and he might, it all comesdown to me.And what if I refused?"He sat like a stone in the chair, not even so muchas blinking.And then he blinked, and smiled."Youwill not," he said gently."You are not that selfish."Am I not? I wondered.Oh, but I think I am.gods,but I think I could be.~Given reason enough.But for now, I was not selfish, looking at my uncle."Su'fali," I said, "is there nothing to bring you peace?"After a moment, he nodded."Her death," he said,"or mine.""Rhiannon is your daughter.""She is a servant of the Seker.""Blood of your blood, su'fali."The flesh of his face was taut."I think not, Keely.I think it has been replaced with the excrement ofthe Seker."Relentlessly, I went on."And when Rhiannon camehere, clad in the garments of subterfuge, you wel-comed her.I recall it clearly, su'fali.I was in theroom.""Unknowing, I welcomed her.Ignorant of thetruth.""And had she come to you begging for mercy?Asking for your protection? Throwing off herjehana's designs?" I paused, sensing his pain; theanguish of grief denied."Would you have felt thesame?"His tone belied the pain."What do you want,Keely? Why do you ask these things?""Blood," I told him simply."We hold it in suchesteem, this blood of our ancestors.And yet when itcomes to Ihlini blood mixed with our own— the bloodof our ancestors—you say it should be spilled.""And so it should," he answered, "when the Ihlinitry to spill ours.""But not all Ihlini," I said."There are those whodesire peace as much as we do, turning their backson Asar-Suti.Does it make them enemy?""Keely—""There are those of the Cheysuli who no longerserve the prophecy.Does it make them enemy? Doesit make them servants of Strahan, or merely ofthemselves?"Ian shut his eyes and slumped.Wearily, he said,"Teir has been at you, then."*"Not at me.he spoke to me, aye, and explainedhow he feels.how the a'saii feel, who fear to losetheir lir."lan's eyes snapped open [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Shutthe door behind me, then waited quietly as I glancedblindly around the chambers, wondering if I shouldgo even though I wanted to stay."You may sit," he said."Or pace, if you prefer."I looked at him sharply."You know me too well, »su'fali—do you know why I have come?"He smiled and sat down in an X-legged chair."No.But I know you are Cheysuli, even without thecolor.and I know how these walls can chafe us.How they bind our souls too taut.""I5 it the walls?" I asked."Or the prison of ourduty?"lan's smile died."Both," he told me quietly."Haveyou only just come to know it?"I stared at him."Do you mean— you—? You, su'fali'?But—I thought—""—that as liege man to the Mujhar, I could onlyrelish the duty?" He shook his head."No, Keely.I am as troubled as you by the burdens of honor-bound oaths, by the demands of the prophecy.""Is that why you supported my bid for anothersword fight?"He stroked his bottom lip with a negligent finger."Oh,partly.And partly because you deserve a secondchance." He gestured to a second chair."Why >.notsit, Keely? Pacing wears down the knees."I sat.Stretched out my legs, knees intact, andCrowned.II him pensively."Su’fali—"Quietly, he overrode the beginnings of my ques-tion."Keely, what I told you outside was the truth.The union is necessary, which makes Niall's cautionunderstandable.He has no wish to curb your spirit,but he must.You are too impulsive at times, invitingaccident." He gestured a little."Today, as an exam-ple; you might have been hurt.You might have beenkilled."I shook my head."Not with Brennan, su'fali.Norwith any of Mujhara, they all know who I am.Andbesides, I know how to fight."Ian sighed."Arrogance born of ignorance.aye,well, Niall was as guilty of it when he was young.It iswhy I do not approve of the royal fledglings being-kept so close to the mews." He smiled a little andshifted."Keep-raised children know better; they havelearned to trust no one at all, until that trust isearned.'Solde and I grew up in Clankeep, but Niall didnot.It left him unprepared for the world."I stared at him in shock."My jehan? But he wentby himself to Valgaard and faced Strahan alone."Ian shrugged a little."Well, he went with me, but Ifell ill.aye, in the end, he did face Strahan alone.And that is what shaped him, Keely.Strahan,Lillith, the plague, the loss of a jehan, also a war withSolinde." He looked at me intently."It was much thesame with your rujholli.Before they came back fromValgaard, none of them were men.Warriors only inname, even with the training.Because until theyfaced the demands of their tahlmorras, they werenothing but lumps of clay.Strahan fired each ofthem in the kiln of Asar-Suti."I felt oddly cold, disliking intensely the pricklingof my scalp."Are you saying I, too, must faceStrahan?""By the gods, I hope not!" He thrust himself up-right in the chair."I would wish Strahan on no one,and never on one of our House; do you think I am afool?"His intensity took me aback."But—you just said—"Ian sighed and slumped back again."It was anexample, Keely.I was pointing out how loss andhardship can shape a soul.Carry a boy from childhood to manhood." He waved off the beginnings ofmy question."I mean only that you too readilyassume no danger can befall you.You are Keely ofHomana, Cheysuli, and daughter to the Mujhar.Yourpower is greater than most, which intensifies yourbelief that nothing can ever harm you." He toucheda finger to his head."In here, or without—" Thefinger moved to his heart, "—and certainly neverhere.Where it can hurt the most."'I drew in a deep breath, then expelled it slowly.Inits place fear crept in."I am afraid, su'fali.""Something I well understand." There was dis-tance in his eyes that spoke of private things.Thingshe would not divulge in words, but revealed all thesame in posture and eloquent eyes."But you dealt with it," I told him."Did I? Do I? Or do I simply ignore it?" He shookhis head slowly."I sired a child on Lillith.An Ihlini-Cheysuli child, who serves Asar-Suti.Abomination,Keely; she should not be allowed to live.I shouldhave hunted her down.Should have made sure ofher death.But I did not, ignoring it; believing, some-how, that such a course would alter her aim.gods, I was a fool—" he sighed, "—and Brennanpaid the price.Now another such child, bred forStrahan's amusement, for Strahan's purposes." For along moment he was silent, then shook his headagain."The Wheel of Life keeps turning, too oftenrepeating itself."I looked at him without blinking, transfixed by hiseyes."I could stop it," I told him."I could stop theWheel.""How?" my uncle asked, when he saw I did notjest."By not marrying Sean of Erinn."He frowned."Oh, I hardly think—""I do.If Aidan dies, and he might, it all comesdown to me.And what if I refused?"He sat like a stone in the chair, not even so muchas blinking.And then he blinked, and smiled."Youwill not," he said gently."You are not that selfish."Am I not? I wondered.Oh, but I think I am.gods,but I think I could be.~Given reason enough.But for now, I was not selfish, looking at my uncle."Su'fali," I said, "is there nothing to bring you peace?"After a moment, he nodded."Her death," he said,"or mine.""Rhiannon is your daughter.""She is a servant of the Seker.""Blood of your blood, su'fali."The flesh of his face was taut."I think not, Keely.I think it has been replaced with the excrement ofthe Seker."Relentlessly, I went on."And when Rhiannon camehere, clad in the garments of subterfuge, you wel-comed her.I recall it clearly, su'fali.I was in theroom.""Unknowing, I welcomed her.Ignorant of thetruth.""And had she come to you begging for mercy?Asking for your protection? Throwing off herjehana's designs?" I paused, sensing his pain; theanguish of grief denied."Would you have felt thesame?"His tone belied the pain."What do you want,Keely? Why do you ask these things?""Blood," I told him simply."We hold it in suchesteem, this blood of our ancestors.And yet when itcomes to Ihlini blood mixed with our own— the bloodof our ancestors—you say it should be spilled.""And so it should," he answered, "when the Ihlinitry to spill ours.""But not all Ihlini," I said."There are those whodesire peace as much as we do, turning their backson Asar-Suti.Does it make them enemy?""Keely—""There are those of the Cheysuli who no longerserve the prophecy.Does it make them enemy? Doesit make them servants of Strahan, or merely ofthemselves?"Ian shut his eyes and slumped.Wearily, he said,"Teir has been at you, then."*"Not at me.he spoke to me, aye, and explainedhow he feels.how the a'saii feel, who fear to losetheir lir."lan's eyes snapped open [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]